


Don't Call Me Sweetheart

by herbivoredinosaur



Series: Resisting Fate [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, End of the World, F/M, Mates, Resistance, Scenting, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, alpha reader, unexpected ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-08-14 09:03:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20189716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herbivoredinosaur/pseuds/herbivoredinosaur
Summary: An AU where it's the end of the world, well, it's been the end of the world for a few years now. The angels and the demons fought it out on earth and the humans were caught in the cross fire. Most of you were wiped out, those left thought best to pick a side in order to survive. You landed yourself on the side of the Resistance. The humans who fought for what was left in the world. You fought demons, angels and any other monster that was a threat to humanity. You were good at it too, that was till one little recon mission went south fast and you woke up in a bunker of all places with another faction of the Resistance.The people there were decent enough, except one of the alphas who you felt was making it his life mission to rile you up. As much as he infuriated you, there was something about him you were drawn to, not that you'd ever admit it. You were an alpha for crying out loud and acting like a beta or even worse, an omega was not in your DNA. Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PSA 1 - This is an AU but it has some canon elements in it.
> 
> PSA 2 - The A/B/O dynamics are also light in the grand scheme of other A/B/O out there in the fanfic world. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

* * *

When you heard the phrase it’s the end of the world, you sort of expected it to happen quickly. A few days, a week tops and then boom, end of the world. No one said that it’s not like what it seems in the movies. No one sat the occupants of the world and gave them a run-down of how this was supposed to go. There was no manual or tutorial online. There was nothing. Well, maybe not nothing.

There was a war between heaven and hell. The angels and the demons battled it out on earth’s soil. The humans were caught in the cross fire. Some of you, no scratch that, most of you died in that cross fire. You couldn’t give exact numbers because well, they stopped broadcasting the news after a few weeks. The ones that did survive fled, hid, did whatever they could to get out of the way of the angels and demons. It was carnage. The brief moments after an army of angels met a demon army in a town was the only peace you could find. You waded through the vessels the demons and angels had once occupied. The smell of sulphur, the burned wings singed into the roads or walls. 

You had never believed, at least not like other people you knew. You were a sceptic. You never took things as they were without question and that included the idea of heaven and hell. You’d swear to God and use his name in vain but that was merely out of habit more than actually thinking a celestial being like that was real. The idea that God had devised this plan to cleanse the earth was beyond comprehension, or was it Lucifer who brought on the end of the world? Or Michael? The stories were always changing, and it was hard to keep up.

You didn’t really care about the reason why. You only cared about that it was happening and it was the humans that were suffering the most. The humans were dying, every day your numbers were getting smaller and smaller. You’ve burned too many dead friends, too many family members.

After a few months, things got quieter. You could manage to breathe fresh air for longer than twenty minutes without the fear of a demon or an angel finding you. Groups started to form. Those who gave themselves willingly to the angels to help them win the war. They helped the angels, either agreeing to be a vessel or rounding up other humans for soul fuel. The Saviours they called themselves.

Then there were those who wanted to keep running. They didn’t want to pick a side. They just wanted to survive for as long as they could. They feared staying in one spot would be a ticking time bomb till they were found and killed. They played both sides of the coin, giving information to angels, demons and anyone who wanted it for a chance to survive. They were the Travelers.

Finally, there were those was wanted to fight. They wanted to do it out of hope for their future or to avenge their past, either way they were soldiers bound on killing angels and demons alike and everything in between. Once the demons and angels made themselves known to the humans so did the vampires, the shapeshifters and any other nightmare story that existed out there. These soldiers were the Resistance. You fought to tie yourself to a group for a long time till it was either join in with them or be killed out there, so you joined. A camp up north was looking for alphas to lead and you were one.

That was years ago, you stopped counting after the first two. It’s hard to say who’s left now. It’s hard to say who’s winning when really its more who’s surviving. It’s hard to picture earth before the end of the world. There was no way of going back to it. This was your new world, your new end of the world. Its dark, grim and full of terrors. Its sleeping with a knife under your pillow, trying to get resources for your camp and hunting the bad guys. Its exhaustion you’ve never experienced before and yet feeling more alive than ever at the same time. It only took the end of the world for you to realise who you were, or at least, so you thought. 

* * *

You were going out on a recon. A couple of travelers tipped your camp off about a vamp nest growing in the town over for a warm meal and a shower. You liked vampires, well, you liked killing vampires. The strategy room was less full today than usual due it being just a recon. You were going to gather intel on the nest, see what you could. Travelers were good on their word. It was their currency, but you could never fully trust another group.

“You all know the drill,” Donna, the Major, slapped her hands flat on the table you were sat around. Heads nodded. “Well alrighty then, be safe, keep out of harm’s way, don’t die.” She smiled bright at you. She still had hope, that’s why she was the leader. You admired her for it. Your hope was long gone.

“Hey, Y/N.” She called out to you as you were about to leave with the team.

“What’s up?” you turned around on your heel.

“Keep an eye on Janet for you, would you? Vampires killed a lot of her family, don’t want her feelings getting in the way of the recon.” She said.

You nodded understanding her. You remembered Janet when she first joined, her family slaughtered in front of her. Her body almost lifeless when another group landed back with her to the camp. It took her a few months to get over it, or maybe it was more like it took her a few months to bury it deep inside of her. You didn’t know Janet before it happened so it’s hard to tell really. You couldn’t imagine watching your mate die to be exactly pleasant, or your children for that matter, not that you had either. Death you had to get accustomed to in the end of the world.

* * *

You caught up with the group as they were about to leave the camp. The jeep was fired up and you hopped onto the back of it beside Janet.

“The Major told you to keep an eye on me, didn’t she?” she said. You shrugged fastening your thigh holster tighter. “I’m fine,” Janet added for emphasis. You looked up at her with a raised brow.

“I am.” You wondered if she forgot you were an alpha sometimes. Her scent was anything but fine, then again whose was all things considering.

“I don’t care what you are Janet, just don’t do something stupid.” you said with an extra alpha bite in your tone. Janet stopped trying to convince you after that. You slapped Eileen on the arm to tell her you were ready to go. She drove off through the camp and out the warded off fence. It could keep angels and demons out but there were other things out there the camp had to worry about too.

* * *

Janet had one job, don’t do something stupid. What did she do? Something stupid. You should have seen it. You should have known that scent off of her had a little more intent that she let you in on. Older Betas were good at dampening their scents. One minute she was beside you, the next she was going into the nest knife swinging at any blood sucker she was in arms reach of. You were outnumbered two to one easily.

You fought your way to her. Your knife dripped in blood from a young vamp in the hallway, not before he managed to possibly break a few of your ribs. It stung like a bitch. Janet was already caught when you found her, knife on the floor and her life in the arms of a hungry vamp. Fantastic.

“You took two of ours, now we need two of yours. An eye for an eye.” He said. Eileen and the other beta were outside standing guard in case extra vampires decided to show up. You didn’t know how many there actually were, and vampires were good at hiding.

“She’ll kill herself before she lets you turn her into one of you.” you told him wiping the blood from your blade on your thigh. You tried to keep them talking while you thought of a plan.

“She’s an alpha, I can smell it.” Another vampire said her eyes fixated on you.

“Alphas make good vampires,” He said. “This one, only a beta.” He ran a hand down Janet’s face causing her to kick up a fight with him. She had no chance once their arms were around her. You couldn’t let her die. You needed to think of something before she got you all killed. You bargained with the only thing you had. Yourself.

“We do make great vampires so how about you take me and let her go?” you held up your knife surrendering. The vampires looked at you closely. “You let her and the other two go, you can have me. I won't put up a fight either, pinky promise.” You really hoped this worked. The last thing the camp needed was four soldiers dying today.

“It’s that simple?” he asked suspicious of your intentions.

“Why complicate things? I’m an upgrade to the one she just killed by the looks of it," you took a quick glance of the beheaded vampire to the left of you. His head clean cut and his limp body lying next to it. "And the one I left back in the hall was only a youngster. I’m worth more than two shitty vampires. You’re getting a great deal really,” You threw down your knife showing you meant it. "Whaddya say?" 

It worked. 

They let her go and took you. Janet ran out of the building as fast as her legs could carry her. You could hear Eileen shouting at her, wanting to come and get you. You could feel her hurt from here. The woman vampire stood in front of you, eyes wide full of thirst. You had a good run at being a human you guessed. She took another step closer, eyes leering at you, fangs protruding from her gums. It took all of you not to fight back, not to at least try. That alpha instinct ran deep in you.

“Not here Fleur, they will be back with others, we must go.” The other vampire said. Fleur frowned reaching down to grab your knife. She turned it over. The handle stuck out. Her arm swung at you then you saw black.

* * *

It wasn’t the first time you’d been knocked unconscious. It didn’t make the waking up any less woozy. You felt disorientated and trapped. When you remembered that you had surrendered yourself to a nest of vampires in order to protect a stupid rage fuelled beta you shot your eyes open and fought against the restraints. Your ribs were being pushed into your organs by the ropes. It was hard to breathe. 

“She’s awake.” Fleur purred.

You had moved locations. The sun was down making them more dangerous. You couldn’t tell how much time had passed. You were in another abandoned house though that wasn’t saying much considering most houses in the end of the world were abandoned.

“Is this any way to treat your new nest member?” you were hoping to stall them while you shook off this wooziness you were feeling.

“We don’t want to put our other members at risk around you. I hope you understand, at least not until you’ve transitioned with you being an alpha and all,” The male vampire replied. He was sitting on a half-broken sofa swirling a glass of blood in his hand. “I’ve never turned an alpha before,” He sipped the blood and stroked his neck tie. "Rather looking forward to it." 

“I wanted to turn her Javier.” Fleur pouted. She was kneeling in front of you, looking at you like you were some sort of play toy. You really hated vampires, so full of the dramatics and theatrics.

You were trying to assess the likely hood of escaping. There were two windows you could see clearly. You assumed the door was behind you due to be not being able to see it. They had you in the centre, bound to a wooden chair with old rope. It was too tight for much movement. You couldn’t feel around for a loose nail or screw to pull out of the chair to help you out of the restraints and your ribs wouldn’t survive if you smashed the chair into the floor. Though dying might be a better outcome than becoming a vamp. 

“I am glad you stumbled into our nest alpha, seems as if it were destiny.” Javier stood up from the sofa making his way towards you. He ignored Fleur’s pout, too fixated on you. You watched him pierce his wrist. Oh great, it was happening now. You needed more time. 

“If its destiny then a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt right?” you turned your head away from his encroaching blood dripping wrist. Realistically you knew there was no way out of this, not with the injury you were carrying. He chuckled.

“If it’s destiny then why wait at all? Fleur, if you please as to be so kind, hold her for me.” Fleur pranced up and pulled your head back by your hair, gripping your chin to yank it open. You fought with all you could, but it was useless. The blood dripped in. The bitter metal taste touched your tongue. All it takes is a drop and you got a lot more than a drop. It wouldn't take long now, a few hours and you'll be one of them. _Fantastic. _

Then there was shouting coming from another room.

“Humans!” you heard one of them shout then a gargled sound followed by a loud thud. A head rolled its way to your foot as you spat out as much of the blood as you could, not that it mattered. You didn’t know what type of human was coming and chances of it being from your camp was slim. You rarely went back once you lost someone, not worth the fuel. Fleur ran into the hallway to protect Javier.

“Resistance.” Fleur snarled. You turned your head around quick to see who it was making you push against the ropes that were pressing into your ribs. You cried out in pain. A khaki jacket was all you spotted before you felt a piercing sensation inside of you, felt yourself being flooded from the inside. Looking down you saw the blood coming from your stomach through the ropes. That was not a good sign. Maybe you would die before the transition took place. Your body was feeling like a lead weight now. 

A rough hand was on your face shaking it, but the wooziness was coming back strong. Your body started to heat up, was that normal before you died?

“Who turned you? C’mon stay with me, who turned you?” a husky voice said. Your head was too heavy to lift. The darkness closing in on you.

“Neck tie.” you managed to get out then the black consumed you, and you were sure this time you weren’t going to wake up.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in a resistance bunker and meet the people living in it. Included in the fold is a fallen angel and an asshole of an alpha that you are reacting to like a beta for some infuriating reason.

* * *

Surprisingly you came to. It wasn’t heaven, not that you were expecting to be in heaven with the shit you’ve done over the past years, but it wasn’t hell either. You were lying in a bed, soft sheets underneath you. You sat up quick, unfamiliar with your surroundings. When you felt your ribs, you cried out in pain falling back onto the bed in agony.

“Hey, hey, take it easy.” A soft voice said.

The light above your head was replaced by a man with longish brown hair. A beta. That was some relief though you weren’t much an alpha with this injury. He was calm, concerned almost.

“Where am I?” you asked. You slowly got yourself up to lean your back against the concrete wall behind you. Your eyes adjusted. It looked like a bedroom, a functioning bedroom. Your stomach was wrapped in a bandage. These clothes were not yours. Your black jeans replaced by soft grey sweats. Your jumper replaced by some oversized red and black flannel. It felt oddly comforting on your skin. You didn’t trust it.

“How about we start with your name?” the tall guy asked. He pulled up a chair to sit beside you. He was oozing worry. It was nauseating. You raised a brow at him.

“How about we start with where am I?” you snarked back. He scoffed.

“You’re in Kansas, in a resistance bunker.”

“Fuck.” Kanas. That’s far away from the camp. Two days drive without being seen, shot or killed along the way. At least you were with the resistance and not captured by Saviours or something worse. You relaxed a little having that information though you needed to be sure, can’t trust anyone.

“Resistance did you say?”

“Yeah.” He pulled the collar of his shirt down showing his worn tattoo on his chest. “You?”

“Same.” you pointed to your exposed ankle. The same tattoo inked into you just not as faded. That seemed to have eased him up a bit too. You assumed they already checked you for being something else when you were unconscious.

“I’m Sam.”

“Y/N. So, tell me something Sam, how come I’m not dying to drain your blood?” you asked noticing the lack of thirst pumping through your veins. You tasted that vamps’ blood. It poured into your mouth like a fine wine but with much more tang and sour.

“We managed to get some of the blood from the vamp who turned you and injected you with it, so it cured you.” He said nonchalant. You never knew there was a cure for vampirism, storing that away to tell the camp when you get back to them.

“Learn something new every day,” you replied. “Well, thanks for saving my life.”

“My brother did the saving. I just happened to be the one to check up on you when you woke up.” Sam smiled kindly. He looked tired, like end of the world tired. You got that. Your tiredness was coming back real fast.

“I need to…” you started to say already sliding yourself back down onto the bed.

“Yeah of course, rest.” Sam stood up from the chair. You had already drifted off by the time the door to the bedroom closed.

_You dreamt of being carried like you were being brought over a threshold after being married like in the movies. “Stay with me.” A voice said over and over. You felt heavy and limp pressed against a warm body. Safe. “Holy smokes. Is she dead?” another voice asked, a woman. _

_“No, I can sense life.” Another one came in stern and cold. You were put on a cold table and a flurry of hands started to touch you. They were all cold except one who was gripping your hand tight. The black came and swallowed you._

You woke up in a gasp. This time remembering where you were. This time not trying to injure yourself any more than you already had. You were on your own. A glass of water and a tin of beans with a fork in it was on the bedside table. Your stomach rumbled. It had been a while since you had beans. The shortage of food meant most meals came from the small farm on the camp, vegetables and eggs were all you were used to. You managed to get yourself sitting on the edge of the bed and wolfed down the beans. The bunker had no windows, the passing of time was hard to assess especially with the black outs you’ve been having. You sipped the water.

There was movement coming past your door, footsteps marching past then silence again. You slowly got yourself up and walked over. Your bare feet on the cold floor made you shiver. You wrapped the flannel around you tighter, ignoring that song of safety your body was singing to you. Turning the door handle you opened up into a long hallway with doors on either side for as far as you could see. You walked out after the footsteps from moments before. The noise got louder, voices started to separate and then there were steps up into a library with a long table that had people surrounding it. The group fell silent when they saw you, each set of eyes landing on you and your disheveled state. Great.

“Y/N.” Sam stood up from his chair. “Sit, please.” He added giving you his chair. You moved across passing an older woman and a blonde-haired girl, both of them looking at you full of suspicion. You couldn’t blame them. You’d be suspicious too.

“Everyone, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is everyone.” Sam said. He pulled up another seat. There were some waves, some smiles, mainly stares though. You sat across another alpha. He could probably tell you were weakened and didn’t pose a threat. You weren’t giving off anything that would impose that anyway, not with your stomach still wrapped in bandages. You probably came off like a beta with this sort of injury.

His green eyes casted a look towards you before he tore them away. “Where were we?” he said his voice was familiar, you couldn’t quite place it.

“We need supplies dudes. I am so sick of eating beans.” A red headed woman said. “I’m Charlie, by the way.” She beamed a smile in your direction. You smiled back. A beta.

“Yeah, the beans are getting old, fast.” The blonde-haired girl agreed. Another beta.

“Claire, you’re agreeing with Charlie, since when?” the oldest man said in the worn-out baseball cap. An old alpha. The remainder being betas except for the one sitting opposite you and this other guy in a trench coat you couldn’t get a read on.

“Since Bobby, I locked them in a room and told them they couldn’t leave till they became friends,” The older woman said with the short brown hair who was sitting next to you. “I’m Jody,” She smiled probably realising you weren’t a threat. “I didn’t think you’d be walking around already,” She pointed out. The others nodded around. “Considering your ribs punctured your organs.”

“I attempted to heal her, but I could only do so much.” The trench coat said. His voice as monotone as an automated voice message machine.

“What do you mean heal me?” you asked.

“Cas here is our resident rebel angel.” Charlie beamed. Cas smiled sheepishly. _Angel._ You could feel your eyes wanting to pop out of their sockets with that information. Pierced organs be damned you were ready to leap across the table to him.

“An angel? You fucking kidding me?” you growled unexpectedly your hands gripped the arms of the chair.

“Holy crap, are you an alpha?” Claire piped up probably feeling what your voice did. The alpha across the table stood up glaring at you and growled low in his chest.

“Y/N.” Sam’s voice calm behind you. You inhaled deep trying to control that kill instinct that lurked deep inside, only flaring when you were off your guard. Alpha coursing through you, irrational overpowering rational. You refused to break the staring competition with those darkening green eyes bearing into you though. Weakened yes, submitting, never.

“Dean.” Sam said.

“Take a walk.” The alpha, Dean said to you. You felt a fleeting urge to get up. Weird.

“Take a seat.” you replied with as much bite. You saw his leg bend just an inch. Also, weird.

“Enough both of you.” Bobby shouted breaking whatever it was that just happened. The old alpha still had enough grit in him it seemed. You rolled your eyes letting the anger wash off of you.

“Charlie, Cas, Sam and I will get supplies,” Dean announced. “Jody, keep an eye on her.” he nodded his head towards you. That irked you. You didn’t need a babysitter.

“Are you serious? I’m not the one with an angel in their resistance.” you said pointing to the trench coat angel, Cas.

“Oh, I’m as serious as a heart attack sweetheart.” He replied. The alpha in you wanted to rip his throat out just for the undermining nickname.

“I’m not your sweetheart.” you snapped. Dean looked like he just about done with you.

“Dean.” Sam pleaded. Dean looked over to Sam and sighed storming out of the library where they all were. Charlie, Cas and Sam followed him into another large alcove and up winding black stairs. You got up too walking back to your room to calm down by punching and screaming into a pillow.

* * *

It didn’t take too long for someone to come to the door.

“Y/N? Can I come in?” it was Jody following up on her orders. “I brought some wine.” She added.

You went to open the door seeing if what she said was true. She waved a bottle of white in her hand and two cups in her other. “It’s expensive, maybe.” She smelled genuine. You envied betas sometimes. Their neutral heads, none of this surging dominance in their veins.

You sighed opening the door wider to let her in. She swooped in under your arm. You left the door ajar.

She poured the wine into the cups on the desk handing you one as you sat back down on the bed you were currently occupying. You inhaled it. It had been a long time since you tasted wine.

“Where did you get wine from?”

“The bunker has a cellar and no one else drinks wine so…” she shrugged. “Cheers.”

Your cups touched and you took a sip. It brought you back to summer evenings on the deck with friends complaining about first world problems. First world problems you didn’t have anymore. Friends you didn’t have anymore. You shook the memories off. Jody looked concerned, looked like a Mother, probably was one at some moment in her life or to that younger girl, Claire was it?

“There’s no point trying to hide what I’m feeling is there?”

“You feel like a Mother.” you admitted. She smiled at that.

“Someone has to be in this place.”

“Yeah, what even is this place?” the question been burning inside of you since you got here.

“It’s our home.” She replied. The warmth radiated off of her to the point it was suffocating. Home, since when was home an option in the end of the world.

“A home with an angel?”

“Honey, if the angel is what’s bothering you wait till you meet the demon.” Jody laughed.

You gulped down the rest of your wine handing her back the mug to fill it up again because you needed more wine if you were about to get on board with not only the idea of an angel but a demon.

_“A demon?”_

She filled up your mug and gave you the low down on what was going on in this bunker. Sam and Dean, the brothers who actually knew about monsters before the rest of humanity did. They spent their lives hunting them. Bobby, the older alpha who took Sam and Dean in when their Dad died. Charlie, a tech genius who found herself caught up in a monster situation that needed the brothers help. Cas an angel who refused to ally with heaven when the end of the world came finding a new home at the bunker. Claire, the daughter of the vessel Cas was inhabiting who Jody was now almost a surrogate Mother to. Crowley, the demon who preferred how things were before the end of the world. And finally, Jody, who used to be a cop. Her family were slaughtered by monsters before the end of the world and Sam and Dean helped her out too.

They joined the resistance when the end of the world came. It was a no brainer to them because it was what they all had known for years before it even happened. They found the bunker by accident looking for somewhere to hide during an impending angel attack years ago. It was stocked with supplies, an armory and a security system only Charlie knew how to take down.

“We waited for someone to come but no one did, so we’ve been living here ever since,” Jody finished her story. “Up there, its Armageddon but down here, it aint so bad.” She said.

You nodded believing her. This place was like the Four Seasons in comparison to your camp. The camp that probably thought you were dead. You were supposed to be dead or worse.

“What about you then Y/N?”

“What about me?”

“Everyone’s’ got a story.” If that wasn’t the truth. You ran a hand over your neck unsure where to even begin when…

_“We’re back bitches!” _

Claire poked her head through your door. “They’re back.”

“We heard,” Jody said. She got up and went to the door. “Well, are you coming?” she waved her hand for you to follow. You took the last sip of your wine and went with her. You had some apologising to do, especially seeing as Sam’s brother, Dean was the one who saved your ass from a bunch of crazed vampires.

* * *

Claire and Charlie were packing away the food when you came into the kitchen. Sam, Dean and Cas were sitting at the table with beers in their hands. The brothers were, Cas was just sitting robotically. Angels had that air about them. They didn’t know what to do in their vessels sometimes. You could tell by the way they held themselves.

Dean took a sip of his beer glancing over at you. He seemed to have cooled down a bit. The wine helped your alpha urges too. “Play nice.” Jody whispered to him before joining the other two in putting the food away. You noticed the khaki jacket he still had on, the only thing you remembered from the night you were tied up bleeding from your gut about to find out if you were going upstairs or down.

You sat down opposite him. “I hear you’re the one who saved me that night.”

“I saved you from the vamps. Cas saved you from death.” He replied casually. You found it hard not to eye roll at that. He smirked. It felt like he was trying to get a rise out of you.

“Tried to heal you.” Cas clarified. “I’m afraid I don’t have the strength I used to since falling from heaven.” He looked at his hands almost disappointed in them. You didn’t want to give Dean the satisfaction that you were still unsure of the angel.

“Thank you, Cas for healing me,” you touched your bandages under the flannel shirt feeling something wet. You lifted it up noticing blood that wasn’t there earlier. “Oh fuck.” you cursed. Dean planted his beer on the table ready to get up by the looks of it when Cas’ hand went to touch you.

“Here, let me.” you grabbed his wrist to stop him on instinct.

“Wait, don’t...” you warned. The blood was spreading over the bandages.

“Dammit Y/N let him heal you.” Dean snapped voice full of alpha bite.

Your hand loosened immediately, letting Cas’s wrist slide through you to touch your stomach. You were too busy fixated on Dean to really feel Cas heal you, or at least stop the bleeding. It happened again. Your body reacted somewhat like a beta to an alpha’s order. It wasn’t a full submission, but it was enough for you to go against something as not wanting an angel to put their hands on you as easily as Cas was going to. Angels didn’t fix humans in your life, they ended it.

Cas pulled his hand away. “I stopped the bleeding. I presume the alcohol in your system caused your blood to thin resulting in a minor bleed.” He told you. Again, you sort of heard the words, but they were faint, like you were underwater as your brain tried to process what was happening between you and the alpha across from you.

“Why am I obeying you?” you asked Dean ignoring Cas completely. He shrugged.

“Beats me.” he took another swig of his beer sitting back down on his stool.

“You’re wounded, maybe subconsciously you’re letting Dean be your alpha while you heal.” Sam suggested. “I mean it would make sense, right?” he looked to the room for consensus.

You didn’t want to tell them you’d been wounded before around alphas and this hadn’t happened. You also saw the way Dean’s knee bent earlier when you were sizing each other up in the library. He was going to do it before he realised what he was doing. It looked like Dean wasn’t going to admit that either downing that beer like he was dying of thirst. An alpha that submitted was not a good trait to have for either of you.

“Sure, makes sense.” Charlie agreed. You thanked Cas again for healing you and excused yourself blaming it on tiredness. You weren’t tired. When you undid the bandages, the wound was completely sealed up. Whatever was once there now gone. You stripped the bandage, buttoned up the flannel and slept in it enjoying the comfort it was giving you. The only piece of comfort you were having right now.

* * *

Breakfast was just with Claire and Charlie. You managed a shower and borrowed some clothes from the girls while yours were in the wash still. The others had gone out to make sure they took care of that nest you were almost a member of.

“Why didn’t you two go with?” you asked enjoying your coffee. You haven’t had coffee in least a year, a traveler had given you half a jar once for saving their life and it didn't last long.

“Because I’m too young to go and need to be babysat.” Claire mimicked Jody’s voice.

“Are you too young?”

“I’m 17,” She said. You shrugged not getting the big deal of letting a 17-year-old out in to the end of the world. Claire seemed to pick up on that. “Would you let me go?”

“If I could trust you not to get yourself killed, sure, why not.” you answered.

“Jody won’t even let me go into the armory unsupervised.”

“Because the last time you almost set off a grenade in the bunker,” Charlie explained. A laugh bubbled out of you. Claire went red in the face and huffed. “And what about the time you took Dean’s gun off the table, almost shot yourself in the foot.”

Claire protested loudly. “I did not!”

“Dude, there is a broken tile where the bullet hit!” It just kept getting better. You hadn’t laughed like that in a while. You were a captain back in the camp. You had to set an example. You had to be on your watch at all times protecting your own. It was exhausting. Here, Dean ruled. These weren’t your people, so they weren’t your problem, but you could show them something at least. They needed to be able to protect themselves.

“Where’s the armory?” you asked cleaning up the breakfast plates.

“Down the back of the bunker, why?” Claire replied. 

You gestured with your head towards the door to the kitchen. “C’mon I’ll show you somethin’.”

“Really?” Claire stood up, slightly stunned at what you were saying

“Yeah, why not?" Yo looked over to Charlie. "What do you say Charlie?”

“Hells to the yeah.” She jumped up. Claire darted off down the corridor, you two followed after. 

* * *

Off the armory was a shooting range and an archery range. This bunker seriously had everything. The armory was stocked full of guns and ammunition. You pulled a drawer out and found some throwing knives.

“You two know how to throw one of these?” you asked. They shook their heads. You took eight out of the drawer and walked closer to the archery target than the archery line. They needed some chance of landing it on the target. You could feel the excitement running off of them. It had been a while since you trained anyone.

“Alright, calm down, you’re going to need a steady hand for this,” you handed them each a knife. “A throwing knife will typically have soft edges and a sharp point,” you showed them on one of the knives in your hand, dragging your finger along the edges hard to show their bluntness. “You start with a half rotation, legs like this,” you put one leg in front of the other shoulder width apart. “Hold the knife with the pointy bit between fingers and release it,” you threw the knife into the target. “Not too much pressure, if you go too hard the knife will spin and wont in the target with the sharp point, got it?” you said to them. They nodded. “Alright, give it a go.” you stood back to let them try.

You spent a good part of the day down there. Once they got the hang of the half rotation, they did a full rotation and started to step further away from the target. You found some ninja stars too and showed them how to use those. They were quick learners and appreciated you showing them something. You tried not to get too involved in agreeing that they should be taught how to use weapons already. You drew the line at showing them how to shoot a gun.

“You can though?” Claire asked.

“I can what?”

“Shoot a gun.” She said. She was challenging you, a fiery beta. You took a gun that was left carelessly by someone at the gun range with a clip already inside of it half gone and emptied the rest of it into the target sheet in front of you, two head and two chests. 

“That answer your question?”

“Damn that was hot.” Charlie breathed. You laughed and took the empty clip out of the gun and put it back into the armory where it belonged. When you came back out Jody was back standing in front of Claire and Charlie arms crossed looking unimpressed with you.

“Care to fill me in on what’s going on here?” she asked tone all kinds of pissed off.

“Jody, Y/N was just…” Claire started. Jody raised her hand to stop Claire from talking.

“You were just what Y/N?” There it was, that Mom voice in here coming out. She wasn't your Mom though. 

“I was just showing them how to throw knives.” you replied nonchalant. 

Jody squinted her eyes at you. “And who told you it was ok to show them that?”

“I didn’t know I needed permission to show Charlie, who, by the way is an adult and Claire who is almost an adult how to protect themselves,” you responded. “They’re part of the resistance and they don’t even know how to load a shot gun for crying out loud.” you could almost laugh. You didn't. 

“That wasn’t your decision to make.” Jody snapped and turned around bringing the girls back towards the door. You saw them mouth sorry to you. You felt their apologies in their scent.

You stayed to get out your frustration, taking a 9mm and emptying a clip into the target. You didn’t need to carry this feeling around where you would no doubt end up sizing up to Dean again. You hated that alpha part sometimes. The want to make Jody submit to you, the want to challenge Dean especially now that you were healed and had a better shot at taking him. You didn’t know how you would react to his alpha’s voice though. If it would still have an effect on you.

“She’s trying to keep them innocent.” Bobby’s voice came into the armory. Turning around you saw the old alpha leaning against the door way. He scratched his scruffy beard.

“She’s trying to get them killed,” you replied. “They need to be trained.” you put down the gun.

Bobby nodded. “You’re preaching to the converted, taught the boys how to shoot a gun by the time they were 12.”

“And that was before the world was ending.” you walked over to him.

“The world you lived in was messed up long before the angels and demons decided to go at it.”

“My world wasn’t that bad,” you shrugged. “Guess I have you to thank for that though.”

You liked Bobby. He didn’t have hope, but he was a survivor. War was who he was. He fixed his baseball cap unsure what to do with the compliment you had handed him.

“Came to grab you for dinner. On Friday’s we eat as a family, little bunker tradition.” He said turning back into the hallway. You took a couple of deep breathes to compose yourself some more, feeling you most likely were going to need it.

* * *

You sat beside Sam for dinner. You ate in what looked like an old strategic war room. There was an image of the world on the table and old radio stations around you. The black wrought iron winding stairs you must have come down when you arrived, half dead.

You wolfed down your dinner, a deer they hunted down a few days ago with some tinned sweetcorn and potatoes a traveler had given them for a ride to the edge of the state. They even had gravy.

“You eat like Dean.” Claire commented.

“Thanks?” you raised a concerning brow at her. You looked down the table at Dean, elbows on the table, fork jamming into the deer meat inhaling it at some speed. You shrugged and continued to eat your dinner hoping not to piss anyone else off. The glares from Jody were enough to be dealing with.

There was a radio transmission bringing everyone out of their food. Sam got up and headed to the flashing light off one of the stations. The atmosphere overcame with tension.

_“Help! Hello? Is anyone out there? Please!” _it sounded like a kid. He didn’t use encrypted resistance code you used to talk over radio waves. Sam replied in code asking for their name.

_“Please I’m scared.” _The kid said. Sam ran a hand over his hair. He wasn’t resistance, he didn’t know what Sam had just sent across, perhaps a traveler, perhaps something else.

“Talk to him! He’s just a kid.” Jody said.

“Or a demon.” Bobby said. You nodded agreeing with Bobby. It wouldn’t be the first time a demon has used a kid to seek out some humans. The possibilities were endless. It was why the code was created. Sam was stuck looking to Dean for an answer. Dean got off the chair and walked over to his brother.

“What’s your name kid?” he said into the mic.

_“Diego.”_The kid sounded like he was crying now. Dean sighed loudly. Sam took over the mic again.

“Diego, where’s your parents?”

_“Demons took her. She told me to hide in our basement.” _

“Where are you?”

_“Paola, 12 Grandview Drive. Please I’m scared they’re going to come back for me.” _the brothers looked around the room at their resistance.

“That’s only an hour’s drive away.” Charlie said.

Bobby chimed in. “An hour’s drive if we don’t run into anything.” 

“We can’t leave him there for Saviours to find him, hand him over to the angels, a kid’s soul is like winning the lottery for them.” Jody said her mind clearly already made up.

“Jody is correct. A kid’s soul could heal many wounded angels.” Cas agreed. Dean contemplated for a moment before pressing the microphone button.

Technically they were right. Human souls were like a miracle cure for wounded angels, helped fuel up their grace. The purer the soul i.e the younger the soul the stronger it was. A kid's soul could be worth up to ten adult souls, easily. Not many kids were left standing for that very reason. 

“Hang tight kid, we’re coming.” He said. His answer created a mix of emotions with the others.

“We could be walking into a trap Dean.” Bobby argued.

“And if we do, we’ll be ready,” He replied. “We leave in twenty.” Dean announced.

Jody went to the armory with a reluctant Bobby. Claire and Charlie snuck out down the hall leaving you with the brothers and Cas.

“What if Bobby is right Dean?” Sam asked. The rational mind of a beta coming out.

“What if he’s wrong and we let a kid die. A kid we could have saved.” The instinctual protective drive of an alpha coming out in contrast.

“I could always come along.” you suggested. The brothers looked over at you.

“Yeah? I mean if you’re sure you’d be up for it.” Sam looked interested. Dean not so much with his glare and jaw tight.

“You got captured by a bunch of second-rate vamps not a week ago. You really think I’m going to let you come along with us when we don’t even know what the hell we’re facing?” Dean said. This alpha, seriously. He gave your stubbornness a run for its money.

“Yeah, you’re right. You don’t know what the hell you’re facing, and you also don’t know jack shit about me and what happened with those vampires,” you stood up from the chair, ready to storm out again. It was the only thing you could do without challenging Dean which you really did not want to do. “If you want to bench a fully healed alpha, then you’re an idiot.”

Claire came running in with a rattling bag. “Claire, what are you…” Sam started to say.

She dropped the bag in front of you. It was your weapons. She lost her beaming smile remembering she was a tough teenager.

“I thought you might need these.” She said casually like it wasn’t a big deal she went to find the bag in the bunker. She was a sweet kid.

“Thanks Claire, but I’m not going.” you told her. You lifted up your silver blade for killing werewolves running it through your fingers, then your handgun. They must have found these on the vampires.

“You’re not?” she looked between the brothers and you. Dean crossed his arms defensively.

“Apparently.” you looked over at Dean taking out the clip to see if any of the bullets had been used before slotting it back in place.

“Dean, c’mon.” Sam reasoned clearly seeing you knew how to handle myself.

“Fine, she can come.” Dean groaned throwing his hands up surrendering. You smiled, pulling back your gun to load it, catching the safety before slipping it in to the back of your jeans where it belonged.

You loved a surprise. “Right, let’s do this.”

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were finding your feet in the bunker but something odd was happening between you and Dean.

* * *

Dean still didn’t trust you, shocker, so you had to ride with him, Sam and Cas in his car while Bobby and Jody were close behind in a pick-up truck. You didn’t mind seeing as you were still in Jody’s bad books. She wasn’t too happy when Sam told them you were coming along.

The spotless black Impala stuck out like a sore thumb in this wasteland. Kansas might as well have been anywhere. The surroundings were always the same now. The abandoned cars, buildings, homes, you name it, it was forgotten about. The roads were bare except for the odd traveler or two walking on the side trying to keep to themselves.

You debated being one. You thought it might be an easier life to play both sides and keep yourself alive. That was before half the people in your life were slaughtered. Their soul drained out of them by angels or their bodies being used by a demon. It was hard to play both sides when that happened.

“I’m glad you are fully healed Y/N.” Cas said. You sat beside the angel in the back, still was not used to being so close to one without wanting to kill it.

“Can angels be glad?” you asked unsure. It’s not every day you got to have a conversation with an angel. 

“The longer I am on earth, the more human I feel.” He replied.

“I’m just glad not to be bleeding anymore.” you touched where your wound once was. Claire let you borrow her jacket seeing as she was not allowed to come with you.

“It was a lot of blood.” Sam said.

You turned your attention to him in the front. “Yeah?”

“When Dean carried you down into the bunker he was covered in your blood.” Cas agreed.

You looked at Dean in his rearview mirror. His eyes were on the road unwavering. Maybe it wasn’t a dream you had, maybe it was a memory coming back into your conscious. Dean’s hand holding yours tight as you were dying on that table trying to soothe you, trying to keep you to stay with him. Your body telling you were safe. A feeling you hadn’t had in years.

You shook off whatever warmth was coming over you turning your attention back out the window. This was not a necessary feeling to have when you were out in the wasteland. Dean coughed and shifted in his seat. You wondered if he felt that too.

You got to Paola easily enough. It seemed you had missed a turf war in a town over. Dean drove the car carefully through the bodies on the what once was the main street. You were numb to it at this stage. A dead body once was sadness, now it was relief that it wasn’t your body or your people. It meant you avoided unnecessary bloodshed.

Dean parked up just down from the street the kid said he was in.

“I can’t sense any angels present.” Cas said coming out of the car.

Dean and Sam went around to the boot to grab their weapons. You leaned against the hood tightening your thigh holster.

When the boot slammed shut, you stood to attention. You weren’t leading this mission, so you needed to stay in check, keep that alpha part of you in check especially when you were about to take orders from another one. It was somehow easier for you to listen to Donna, a beta than it was another alpha, probably because she didn’t stand a chance with you, not really. Dean on the other hand could put up a good fight. You needed to try not to piss anyone else off, especially right now.

You needed to show your worth to this resistance.

“Jody, Bobby and Sam go in through the back. We’ll take the front,” He said to you and Cas putting his pistol in the back of his jeans. “Find the kid and get out.”

“And what if we’re walking into our imminent deaths boys?” Bobby asked.

“Then it’s been nice knowing you.” you joked. Sam scoffed. Dean glared. You rolled your eyes, clearly, he can’t take a joke either. Bobby’s scent eased up a bit though from it. Dean just grunted and stomped off with Cas and you in tow.

The house was covered in demon and angel wards with a red traveler flag tied to the decking that surrounded the house. The flag raised to indicate travelers were residing in there, they were less likely to be slaughtered than other humans. At least till they proved their worthiness to the monsters.

“This is far as I can go, I’m afraid.” Cas stated slowing down to a complete stop. The wards were keeping him from going any further.

“Keep look out,” Dean said. “You, with me.” he took his gun out of his back. Getting orders was not your forte, if anything getting them from an alpha made it worse. You needed to swallow it though and followed suit doing the same pulling back the hammer to load and taking the safety off. You took the steps one at a time trying to stay quiet, keeping your ears out for any noises. It was dead silent. You could hear the others open the back door as you and Dean opened the front. There was a line of salt at the entrance, to keep ghosts out. Travelers were overly cautious.

Inside was ran sacked. Furniture was over turned, papers were everywhere, cupboards opened and raided. You moved through the house slowly checking for clear rooms.

“Clear.” Dean called out from a bedroom upstairs. You opened your last wardrobe, empty.

You sighed, relieved, part of you was anticipating a dead child’s body. “Clear.”

Sam came into the room, gun still engaged. “The kid?” you asked.

“Jody is getting him.” He put down the gun. You could feel the concern on him, like a constant presence.

“Checking up on me?” you asked leaning against the window frame. This used to be a kid’s bedroom. The dinosaurs on the walls and little clothes hanging in the wardrobe. Sam sat down beside you. Your shoulders brushed. 

“Making sure you’re ok.” He was an odd beta. Odd for a few things, the height and build and then the watching over people, in particular you, an alpha.

“I’m fine Sam,” you saw the gun in his hand. You laughed briefly lifting yours from your side. “Snap.” You had the exact same Taurus handgun. You got to know guns from the resistance. Your life before the end of the world was anything but knowing models and makes of guns.

There was a loud noise that drew you out of each other. It came from the basement. You got up first running out of the hall, Dean came out of a room too and bolted down the stairs. You followed him with Sam close behind you.

“Jody! Bobby!” Dean shouted. He opened the basement door and you were hit with a sudden temperature shift. You noticed your breath.

“Ghost.” you said.

“Dean!” Jody cried out. He went down into the basement without even thinking.

“Wait, Dean!” you shouted. You saw him stall for a split second then pushed through your order slipping into the darkness of the basement. The door shut on its own accord. You tried to pull it open. It wasn’t moving. Fucking ghosts.

“For fuck sake.” you cursed. You didn’t know anything. It could be one ghost. It could be ten. It could be the kid tied to the house.

Sam looked like he was about to tear the door down with a crazed eye.

“Don’t’ even think about it.” you said sternly. You could stop him from what he was about to do. He glared at you, so much for your moment early. The beta listened to you whether he wanted to or not.

“He’s my brother! They’re my family!’ Sam yelled.

“Exactly so you’re not thinking straight Sam. Whatever is down there is strong, really strong. There has to be another way in,” you walked out the back door and around the side. There was a wooden hatch door. It had to lead to the basement.

“We need iron.” He said.

“The gate, out front.” you remembered it when Dean and you first came in. Sam ran around and broke the gate coming back with two pieces. You each grabbed a side of the hatch. Sam waited for you to give the order, right, you were the alpha now because his was trapped.

“Get in, get out, no messing around, no one is dying today.” you pulled the hatch. He nodded pushing his hair off of his face. You inhaled deep bringing every ounce of strength and adrenaline you had to give this everything. You both opened the door and descended into the darkness.

Sam got Jody and Bobby out. They were coming out of unconsciousness, probably knocked out the moment they got into the basement. You got Dean out after swiping the ghost from his grip with the piece iron gate in your hands. She had him on his knees beating him senseless. He was injured, his mouth bleeding, eye starting to swell a little. You wrapped his arm around your shoulder and lifted him. He groaned, probably from a bruised rib being pressed against your side.

You managed to get out before the ghost returned making sure not to break the salt line on the hatch. Sam closed the hatch behind you, using the iron rod to lock the hatch shut for good. You looked around breathing in everyone. Alive, they were alive.

You turned your head to Dean, inhaling his scent to make sure he was ok. There was pain, that was obvious, what was less obvious was the hints of comfort he was giving off. He didn’t trust you, didn’t want you on this mission and you were pretty sure what you were picking up on was that he felt safe in your arms. You brought your nose closer to him, just to be sure he was ok.

“I’m good.” He knew what you were doing. Your eyes met, his were soft for once, not the constant sour glare you were used to. Your alpha eased itself a bit. For some reason you were more preoccupied by his safety than the rest of them, running in making a bee line for him before the others in the basement.

“Good.” you replied. You squeezed his side that you were holding not really even noticing you had done it and there was that feeling of warmth come over you again. It was being around him that was making it happen, touching him made it worse, or better according your body. It was like it was calling to him.

“Can you feel that?” you asked quietly. He nodded. Well, fuck, what does that mean? Alphas don’t, they don’t feel things towards each other especially _nice _things. You didn’t trust it. You didn’t have time to discuss it or think about it, it wasn’t safe being out in the open.

Dean moved away from you. The warmth slipped away.

“Let’s get out of here.” He said returning to his alpha role. You all followed.

The angel was beside himself when you walked back to the car.

“Dean, you’re injured.” He said hands reaching for his friend. Dean batted Cas’ hands away.

“I’m fine, Cas, just a scratch.” Dean replied heading to the boot to drop off his weapons.

“What happened?”

“Ghosts, mother and son by the looks of it.” Sam said.

“Someone is keeping them in there with those salt lines.” Bobby added.

“Well they can stay in there.” Jody called out. You helped her back into the pick-up truck. It looked like she sprained her ankle when the ghost knocked her out. Cas would heal her, she’d be fine.

“Thanks Y/N.” She gripped your hand showing you she meant it.

“Don’t sweat it.” you squeezed it back. You weren’t good at taking compliments.

Dean was leaning against the Impala blocking your way to get in. Cas and Sam already inside waiting.

“Looks like I saved your life.” you said standing in front of him. He smirked. There it was again, that warmth. A sun behind a cloud waiting to come out.

“Looks like it.”

“You gonna trust me now?” You asked. He shook his head. Dammit.

“Not a chance sweetheart.” He pushed himself off the car letting you get inside.

“Don’t…” you started to protest the sweetheart sliding into the backseat with the angel.

“Yeah, yeah.” he closed the door on you. You huffed. It was going to take more than saving his life to trust you. What was more than that?

* * *

You fell into some kind of a routine after that first mission with the resistance bunker. Jody agreed to let you show Claire how to use some approved weapons and combat training. That took up most of your days if you weren’t going on a mission or a supply run. It had been two weeks since Dean saved you from the vampires.

The others trusted you even if Dean still didn’t, no matter how many times you proved yourself to him on missions. You half thought if it was the warmth he didn’t trust, not that you two ever talked it ever. You both kept a distance from the other. It was like your dirty little secret or something you both were keen on not sharing because it wasn’t like it was an alpha thing.

You spent most of the end of the world above ground, living in the woods in your camp. You weren’t equipped to the underground life even if it had serious perks, running water, electricity not from a generator on the blink, _wine_. You also weren’t equipped with the space. The camp was big but had a least a hundred people in it. Here, you could go half a day without running into anyone. Another thing being the constant scents from betas and alphas that you had to get used to on the camp, here you only had a handful of scents to recognise. It was less alpha provoking. So yeah, you weren’t complaining. The balance of rest and work was more even in here.

Claire always wanted more training. She wasn’t allowed in the armory unsupervised, so you had to go with her while she practiced. You brought books from the library with you, lore on ancient gods to occupy your time. Whoever prepared this bunker was ready for the end of the world.

“Put it back.” you said seeing Claire trying to hide a handgun from you. You peered up over your book. The beta wasn’t good at masking her scent yet. A trick she had yet to learn from the other betas.

“But Y/N…” she moaned.

“Now.” you ordered. She stomped, turned in her heel to put it back where it belonged. The door into the armory opened and heavy footsteps came in.

You pushed down that warmth feeling that was rising inside of you. The more time you spent in here, spent around Dean, the longer it stayed and the stronger it got.

“Dean, can I…” Claire wavered by the arch into the weapons area. The handgun still behind her back no doubt.

“Nope.” he interrupted pulling up a chair. Dean was fresh out of a shower. You ran into some werewolves on the way back from a supply run. It was messy, it was fantastic. You loved killing werewolves. You loved killing monsters. Period. It seemed Dean did too, like it was in his veins.

He took out his handgun. You shoved the cleaning box over to him from your side of the table. He cleaned his gun after using it, every time.

“You don’t even know what I was going to ask.” She protested. He put down his handgun to give Claire his attention.

“Fine, ask,” He sighed. You smiled into your book enjoying the show between them. He was a good alpha despite his stubbornness. He gave a shit, too many at times by some of the stories the others had told you. The weight of the world on his shoulders. You got it. Alphas had a job to do, it was in your biology. Protect sewn into your DNA. Betas had to learn it once the end of the world showed up but Dean, for you, you had it since presenting.

Claire pulled out the handgun. “Not a chance.” Dean shook his head.

She didn’t put up a fight with him, huffing she put it back in the weapons room. She came back out with her throwing knives.

_“Claire!” _it was Jody. Claire sighed, knowing she had to go when called. You put your book down, crossed the room to her. Claire was tense, frustrated. The hormones of a teenager wrapped up inside of her. You brought her into you on instinct, let her wrap herself around you for comfort. She started to do it a few days ago. You didn’t mind.

“I’ll put them back.” you helped her out taking the knives off of her.

“Thanks Y/N.” She hurried off, probably to clean her room or the dishes, some mundane chore Mother’s wanted their kids to do.

You sat back down and picked up the book after putting the knives back. Dean had taken his gun apart, cloth in his hand to wipe down the ivory handle. 

“You’re good with her.” he said filling the silence. You rarely talked when you were alone. You didn’t want to pass up the opportunity for him to possibly start liking you.

“She reminds me a bit of my little sister.” you replied rather honestly flipping through the pages on Pagan Gods. Dean looked up at you.

“You never mentioned a sister before.”

“Probably because she’s dead.” you shrugged. You fought back encroaching memories of her. Her brash attitude and invincible mentality.

“What happened?” his attention was on you. You couldn’t look at him as you told him. She lasted a year. A group of Saviours took her. She was 14, an omega, she never stood a chance.

“I don’t know what you’d do if...” Dean couldn’t even finish it. _Anything happened to Sam._The bond they had was mate level at times, probably due to all the shit they had been through.

“You’d murder them all.” you told him.

“Is that what you did?”

“Every last one of them.” you closed the book. It was hard to fight back those memories. The way they begged for their lives when you sliced their throats like they sliced your sisters.

Dean lowered his cloth and gun onto the table probably feeling the rage seep from your pores. His hand reached for your ankle that was resting on the chair near him. It was odd, an alpha comforting another alpha but there he was, and you didn’t push him away. The small circles he drew with his thumb was soothing.

And it came then, that warmth. The rage dissipated being replaced by something brighter. You let it wash over you for longer than you probably should have. Your body wanted it. It shifted then, a whisper of a heat. The sun came out from behind the cloud. 

Your head rolled between your shoulders and you wet your lips reveling in that content feeling.

There was a noise that wanted to come out of your mouth, but you wouldn’t let it, coughing, you pulled your ankle back. His hand gone, the warmth dimming. Dean gulped back something too picking his gun up quickly to occupy himself. He shifted in his chair pulling at his jeans with his free hand. You left before either of you had a chance to explain what happened.

* * *

You didn’t see Dean until your next mission. You had somehow managed to avoid each other for two days. You could walk around now and sense him in other rooms. There were moments when you would walk away from the subtle pull and moments when you felt it was him. You were with Bobby in the kitchen. The warmth showed up then vanished and you hadn’t moved from your seat. Your only guess was he was on the other side of the door, knew you were in here then left again. It was what you did when you felt him in other rooms.

Charlie got a resistance message off of the radio. The avoidance had to end. We were being called in to help. A smaller group they knew had stumbled on an angel with some Saviours she kept in her pocket to do her soul grabbing for her. You caught Dean looking at you when she read out the message. The story of your sister ringing in his mind.

“They’re held up in their van in Kansas City without anything to kill an angel, so they need our help,” Charlie said. “They’re keeping tabs on the angel, apparently she’s in an abandoned hotel.”

“Let’s go pay her a visit then.” you said. The others agreed.

* * *

You got ready in your room, or at least the room you’ve been staying in you should say. It wasn’t your room. You laced your boots up. Slid your little angel flick knife along the side of your outer calf and grabbed the flannel shirt you’d been inseparable from since you got here. You were rolling the sleeves up when Dean knocked on the door. The warmth seeped through the wood.

“Yeah?” You grabbed your gun on the desk fitting it into your jeans.

Dean leaned against the doorway loitering, like he was waiting to say something, biding his time. You sat on the end of the bed waiting. You didn’t have much patience and he should know that.

“Just say it already.”

“You ready to kill some Saviours?” he asked. There was some concern in his voice but mostly a bit of grit, vengeance. You were not expecting that. You were waiting for a _“you need to stay here Y/N”, “I can’t trust you not to get your feelings in the way of this”_or a straight up “_I don’t need to explain myself to you” _which was his usual go to response for benching you. You stood to attention, raising your hand up to your forehead in a salute.

“Yes alpha.” you beamed. He laughed. A short but genuine laugh. The crinkles around his eyes let you know he meant it. He was starting to trust you.

* * *

It turned out you knew the other resistance group too. The Hudson’s were a family that lived out of their camper van. They stumbled across your camp a while back seeking refuge while their kid son healed from being possessed by a demon. It was through your camp they joined the resistance.

When Eric, the son came out of the van and spotted to you he bolted wrapping his arms around you tight. “Y/N.” He exhaled like he’d been holding his breath. The fear reeked off of him. He was a teenager now and an alpha. You saw Sam grab Dean’s shoulder out of the corner of your eye while you hugged Eric back. You could have sworn Dean growled too. You refocused your attention back to Eric.

“Where’s your parents?” you asked stepping out of the hug. Out hopped a beta of the van next. He was around Eric’s age. The bite on his neck healed and present. Eric had mated. It was rare now to be mated once the end of the world started. Everyone decided being mated wasn’t a big thing anymore, it wasn’t important all things considering. The only mates you saw these days were ones formed before the end started.

“They took them.” he said. You kept your distance from the beta. A mated beta and an alpha, some lines you couldn’t cross.

“Took them?” Sam stepped in.

“Yeah, my parents they saw a Saviour drag a traveler inside, so they went after him that was twenty minutes ago.” Eric said. His beta went over beside him putting his hand on Eric’s arm to calm him. Mated pairs had that ability, to be able to ground the other with their touch, especially useful for alphas whose emotions tended to run more wild than a betas.

“What’s the play then?” Dean wanted to get this moving along. Especially now you had to save some of your own from inside.

“She’s in there.” Cas noted. You saw the angel blade slip down his sleeve into his grip. He really hated his own kind as much as you did.

“And she’s waiting for you Castiel.” A Saviour appeared onto the road with another in tow. Their attempt to appear angelic was pitiful as well as their enochian symbol branded into their foreheads. You pulled out your gun aiming for them, ready to send them to their deaths.

“You wanna say that again angel slave?” Dean spat out coming up beside you. The shine of his ivory handle passed your view. Sam came up on your right.

“She wants to talk to Castiel.” The Saviours kept walking towards us.

“One more move and you’re done Saviour.” you said. They stopped knowing you weren’t messing around. Cas came forward, walking past your guns.

“Cas.” Dean warned. His alpha tone didn’t work on angels.

“They will not hurt an angel.” Cas said. He was right. A Saviour would never attack an angel, even a fallen one like Cas. Their faith wouldn’t allow it. Saviours had a cult mind-set, their believes ran so deep, completely brainwashed. They even bowed their heads a little when Cas got close enough to them. They spoke in hush tones.

“What is he doing?” Sam asked looking over at Dean and you. You both shrugged.

Cas returned back to you with information. “It’s Naomi. I knew her in heaven.”

Sam piped up first. “You can’t be seriously considering talking to her?”

“They have hostages Sam.” Cas’s voice stern. He already had made his mind up.

“What did they say?”

“I go talk to her. They release the humans.”

“I don’t trust it,” you said. “It can’t be that simple.” These kinds of exchanges always went wrong.

“It never is.” Sam agreed.

You all turned to Dean for a decision. He gave the final one. He looked unsure, tense. Was he going to let his best friend do this? The humans needed saving. It was complicated and it rested on his shoulders. You wrapped your hand on his forearm squeezing it gently like Eric’s beta trying to keep him grounded. It was like your body was doing it before your mind even realised. He looked down at it taking a deep breath, a fraction of the tension eased off of him.

Sam and Cas looked each other with raised brows.

“Have you made a decision Castiel?” the Saviour called out.

“He’ll go but I’m coming with.” Dean answered. You let your hand drop to your side. Decision made.

“That wasn’t part of the arrangement.” The Saviour protested.

“Tough shit, it’s the arrangement you’re getting.” He handed Sam his gun, his knives and anything else he had on him to disarm himself.

“You can’t go unarmed Dean.” Sam argued. You bent down to grab your little flick knife from your boot.

“Here.” you slid it into his pocket subtly.

“Don’t kill them without me.” he smiled at you. It wasn’t a real one, not the one you got back at the bunker. You returned it, equally as fake. Cas and Dean walked back to the Saviours. Your whole being wanted to go after him, to protect him.

“Don’t die on me.” you whispered. Sam heard you. You didn’t mean to say that aloud.

* * *

You weren’t good at waiting around, it had been half an hour. Half an hour too long if anyone asked you.

“What can they be talking about that’s taking this long?” you tightened your thigh holster for the third time.

“You’re going to lose circulation if you keep doing that.” Charlie noted. You were leaning against the Impala on look out. Sam and Jody were closer to the hotel entrance.

“I don’t like this, not one bit.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell from your constant fidgeting.”

“Shut up you.” you grunted. You looked over your shoulder to Sam and Jody. Sam shook his head letting you know nothing was happening over there.

“Yes alpha.” She joked. You glared at her. That did shut her up at least till one of Eric’s parents came out of the hotel entrance. You ran over. Eric grabbed his Mother’s face trying to get a scent off of her and inspecting her.

“Mom, Mom, are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine. They let me go but Carlos.” She said eyes filling with tears. That was it. You had enough with this so-called talk and hostage situation. It felt like Sam was too.

“Jody, stay with Charlie.” he said.

“They’re on the third floor,” Eric’s Mom said gripping your arm tight. “Save him, please.” you nodded hearing her. Sam was waiting for you pent up full of adrenaline. He opened the door and you stepped inside ready for whatever was going to come your way.

The place was deserted. The Saviours would be with their angel, not liking to be too far away from that kind of celestial presence. You climbed the stairs to the third floor. The placed reeked of Sulphur. Demons must have camped out here at some point. You stepped over corpses as you walked down the hallway to what once was the master suite in the place. There was a Saviour standing outside the door.

  
Sam put a bullet in between his eyes ruining that enochian symbol of his before he could say anything. He fell to the floor.

There was movement coming from the other side of the door. You stopped Sam from continuing.

“Wait, there must be another door to the suite. Right? Fancy hotels always have two entrances.” you said. You looked down the hall to see another door not numbered but named. It had to be into the same suite. “You go in that way, be quiet. I’ll be loud on purpose, distract them.”

Sam nodded walking down to the other door. You counted to three on your fingers then bolted in. Traveler dead, neck sliced open, Cas trapped in holy water fire, Carlos tied up, beaten within an inch of his life, and Dean being held by a red-haired angel in a black pants suit with your angel flick blade against his throat. This was not a talk. This was an interrogation.

“Y/N, behind you!” Cas called out. You turned quick seeing a young Saviour coming towards you. Squeezing the trigger, you shot her dead then turned back to Dean and Cas.

“Let them go.” you said focusing your attention on Dean. He wasn’t injured, not yet anyway. You spotted Sam slowly creeping his way into the living space you were in.

“I wouldn’t come any closer if you want him to keep his soul,” Naomi warned with the blade close to Dean’s neck. At least he was pissed off, not scared. You weren’t sure Dean even knew what being scared felt like. “The gun, drop it.”

“I’m good thanks, think I’ll keep it,” you snarked back. “What happened to talk to Cas, let the humans go?” you asked trying to keep her attention on you.

“Castiel has committed treason. He needs to be sent to heaven for his crimes against the angels. I knew he wouldn’t come willingly so I thought if we tortured some humans in front of him it would work. He was still unwilling till I threatened this human here,” She pressed the blade closer to Dean’s neck. “He has a soft spot for this one,” She drew blood.

You growled low in your chest. “As do you it seems,” She heard it from across the sitting room. “What’s so special about this one?” she asked curious now. “Is it his eyes? They are beautiful. Father did well when he created you,” She talked to Dean. “You’d make a great vessel, an alpha, such strength.”

“I get that from all the angels” Dean replied with attitude. She seemed amused. He was distracting her.

“You think he’s big, wait till you get a load of his brother.” you said. You looked at Dean and tilted your head to the right hoping he’d get the idea and slant his body away from hers. He did. You nodded to Sam. It was time to toast this angel.

“Will he be joining us too?” she asked too fixed on Dean to realise.

“I already have.” Sam said from behind her driving an angel blade through her heart. The bright light shone through the room. You shielded your eyes with your hand.

When the light died out, you ran over to Dean. He was kneeling on the ground a little breathless. You crowded around him turning his head in your hands to see where she had cut him. You resisted the urge to scent him.

He gritted his teeth from the pain of the cut. It wasn’t deep which was something. You felt somewhat better now that you had seen it up close. There was still that burning urge to press your face against his, like your body knew it would help him. Your body being so needy and protective about another alpha. It didn’t make sense. Dean took your hands off of his face and held onto your wrists.

“Thought I told you not to kill them without me.” He smirked. You scoffed and ducked your head to hide the smile. He was ok. You were glad he was ok. He pressed his thumbs into your wrists rubbing circles in them. He was soothing you again. Dean almost died at the hands of an angel and there he was making sure you were the one who was ok.

Cas knelt down. Sam had burned out the holy fire ring. The angel placed his hand on Dean’s neck healing it. “I’m sorry Dean.” Cas said. You left them alone, Dean’s hands loosening around your wrists. You went over to check on Carlos. He was coming to a bit. No one died that you cared about. That was a relief.

Sam helped Carlos down the stairs. His wife and son broke down when they saw him rushing over to embrace. The sadness and relief were suffocating. You needed to not be around it. Everything was heightened recently. You couldn’t understand why. The beta was by the van looking on as his mate gripped onto his Dad.

“You okay?” you asked noticing the tears coming down his face too. The beta nodded.

“Just hard when you can feel your own feelings and then your mates, I’m still pretty new to this.” He said wiping them with his sleeve.

“It’s a lot.” you said.

“Is it like this for you too?” he asked. “With him?” he looked past you to Dean who was hugging Jody and Charlie. Or more like they were hugging him, and he was letting it happen. It made your chest tighten seeing it, in not a good way. If you paid it enough attention you might have called it jealousy.

“Dean isn’t my…” you began to say when Eric came back to his beta embracing him in a tight hug. You let them be walking back to your resistance, or the other one should you say. The only you’ve been staying with. You needed to get that right in your head.

The Hudson’s said their goodbyes and thanked you repeatedly. The guys somehow left it to you and Charlie to deal with their gratitude. Casual sexism at its finest.

“All part of the resistance eh?” Charlie said. Her fist went in the air. Eric and his beta did too. A salute of success it had begun to be known as.

“You saved my son, now you have saved me. How can I ever repay you?” Carlos gripped you tight.

“Like Charlie said, all part of the resistance.” You shrugged off the compliment. The others left leaving Eric. He was reluctant to give you a hug eyes drifting past your head to the bunker resistance behind. For someone who had got his Dad back, he seemed on edge.

“What, no hug?” you asked.

“I don’t think Dean would be too happy.” He admitted. You turned to follow his gaze. Dean looking pensive and unimpressed though that was his usual stance as far as you were concerned.

“He doesn’t own me so…” you grabbed Eric’s shoulder and brought him into you. He squeezed you back eventually. Eric thanked you once more then rushed back to the van where his family was, still intact, still alive. It was a close call that time. They were lucky. 

You walked back to the Impala. Dean glaring at you with arms and legs crossed.

“What?” you opened the back-seat door.

“Just get in already.” He huffed and got in the front seat. You all drove back to the bunker in silence, pretty wiped from the day. Another day in the end of the world you racked it up to. Death was inevitable, though you seemed to have dodged it today.

* * *

A near death experience resulted in copious amounts of drinking. You brought up a bottle of wine each for Jody and you. Bobby brought out some old whiskey for the guys. Jody even gave Claire a glass which she tried to pretend she liked drinking. Sam gave her a beer which she preferred.

You were all sat around the war room table listening to old records Charlie had found in her room. It was jazz, everyone enjoyed it, or else the drinking helped everyone enjoy it.

Bobby told stories of what it was like to have a teenage Sam and Dean under his roof. It was hilarious. Charlie and you were nearly busting your guts laughing at the idea of Dean trying to learn how to drive around Bobby’s old salvage yard.

“I was 12!” Dean shouted trying to defend himself.

“You nearly ran me over!” Sam scoffed. You laughed harder.

“Well that’s what you get when you stand in front of a moving car Sammy.” He downed his whiskey. The relaxed attitude Dean had was new to you. He was kinda funny, sarcastic, not that you’d admit that aloud. A fondness for the alpha was growing slow and steady over the weeks. The others had been open to you; he was more a slow burn.

“He kinda has a point there.” Charlie said. Sam grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured himself another drink. You smiled into your cup enjoying the environment in the air. You deserved a break.

Dean pulled out a deck of cards. “Poker?”

Bobby and Jody got up from the chairs. “I think we’ll leave you to it.” Jody pointed to you all.

“Claire, c’mon.” she touched her daughter’s shoulder.

“But Jody!” Claire protested slightly slurred. That one beer went straight to her head. She couldn’t even keep it up, resting it in her hand.

“Y/N already has you cleaning out shot guns. I will not let Dean corrupt you with gambling. Bed, now.” She put her Mom voice on. Claire groaned getting up from her seat a little unsteady. You put your hand on her back to make sure she wasn’t about to fall over though you don’t know how much help you were going to be. You were a light weight now that alcohol was not every week occurrence in the end of the world.

Dean dealt out the cards.

* * *

“I’m not good at this game.” Cas said holding cards in his hand like they were offending him.

“Same.” you replied. You were useless at bluffing. Your face gave too much away. You were two games in already. You had nothing to bet on so Charlie, being the minx that she was suggested you all play for your clothes. Apparently, it wasn’t the first time the bunker resistance played strip poker.

You were learning a whole new side to them. You also learnt that angels can get drunk, if they drink enough. Cas’s straight posture slowly relaxing the more whiskey was poured into his glass. His tie and trench coat already gone. You had lost your shoes and socks. Dean his flannel shirt, Sam his jacket and shoes and Charlie still fully clothed.

“You can probably count cards with that brain of yours,” you said peering over your cards to Charlie. She winked at you. “Exactly how is that fair?”

“It isn’t,” Sam mumbled. “your call Charlie.” The pot was your belt, Dean’s other shoe and Cas’ shirt. You tried to explain to Cas he still had shoes and socks, but he had already bet his shirt and apparently you couldn’t take back what you already bet, Dean’s words. You were half convinced Dean just wanted to see the angel topless.

“Raising my shirt.” Charlie said.

“I fold.” you tossed your cards on the table.

“Chicken,” Dean said to you. You glared not bending to his little games. “Calling it.” He was going to bet a shirt too. Sam and Cas both folded.

“Read em and weep bitches.” Charlie splayed her run out for us to see. Dean groaned hitting his head on the table.

“Son of a bitch.”

You took off your clothes, handing Charlie your belt and Sam passing over his shoe. Cas stood up to unbutton his shirt.

“Wait, wait we need the right kind of music for this.” you said stumbling over to the record player to put on something slower, sensual. You weren’t going to pass up this opportunity for your own little games.

“What is happening?” Cas asked confused.

“Strip dude.” Sam said. Cas undid his shirt still as he normally would have. It added to the hilarity of it. He even tried to fold it for Charlie. You snatched it off of him and handed it to her.

“Thank you,” She smiled adding it to her pile of clothes. “Dean, you’re next.” She put her hand out for him to give her his top. You turned your attention to Dean who grabbed the back of his top.

“C’mon put some showmanship into it, show Cas how it’s done.” Charlie insisted.

“Don’t you like chicks?” Dean asked.

“I like what I like,” She shrugged. You tried to hide your smile. “Now c’mon, nice and slow.”

Dean sighed, drank the rest of his drink and stood up from the chair. You watched under hooded eyes as he took the hem of his black top in his hands. He pulled it up painfully slow. His skin appearing bit by bit, muscles contracting as stretched it over his lean chest and over his head. You gulped, loudly. You weren’t about to deny that he was attractive even as insufferable as he was to you.

It was safe to say that most of the people in the room were aroused by what they were seeing. You didn’t need to be able to get a scent off of Cas. His gaping mouth was enough.

His jeans snug on his hips with the tiniest flash of his grey boxer’s underneath. He coughed bringing your attention up to meet his green eyes. The smirk on his face was painful. His body was painful, and he knew that. He knew how you were feeling because he was an alpha and homing in on scents was easy for the likes of you, not to mention the damn warmth practically gushing out of you. _Fuck._This bunker had some serious issues considering it wasn’t like any of you could hide what you were feeling. The smell of arousal was everywhere.

“Better?” He tossed the top across the table to Charlie.

“Much,” She replied. “Who’s next to deal then?” you downed the rest of your wine trying not to look at Dean and his hot as hell body sitting opposite you. Distraction was an understatement. The camp life didn’t leave much room for getting laid, especially as an alpha. The fear of triggering heat in a beta or omega always a concern. You couldn’t trigger it in an alpha though, an alpha like Dean. Those thoughts were dangerous.

You played again. You lost again. This time the flannel shirt. Charlie finally lost something too. Cas was running out of clothes only his boxers left. Sam lost a lot going up against his brother, all the way down to his trousers from being fully clothed.

“You can’t bluff me Sammy.” Dean said taking his brother’s clothes and putting them beside his pile.

You collected the cards and dealt them out.

“Last game.” Sam called in a yawn. You all agreed. It was getting late and being this drunk never ended well, especially with the way you kept catching Dean looking at you over the table. Your inhibitions were down.

You got good cards, for once. The drunken confidence in you made you think you had it, betting your trousers. The rest of them gasped. Dean’s eyes widened. Perfect bow lips gaped then a darkening grin appeared.

“Call it.” He said. The rest had folded. “Let’s see them cards Y/N.” You put your pair of tens on the table, with the other ten on the table you had three tens.

“Damn.” Sam said.

“Can you beat that?” you asked folding your arms defiantly, feeling pretty proud of yourself.

“Oh, I can,” He replied throwing his two queens down to match the queen on the table. “and I did. Booyah!” He spread his hands out over his head in a triumph. He won.

“Bastard.” you cursed.

“He got you there, Y/N.” Charlie spun around in her chair to change the record back to the track you made Cas and Dean stirp to.

“Really?” you groaned.

“Really, really.” Dean smirked. You stood up out of your chair. If you were going to do this, might as well make it count. You walked over to Dean, well walked while grabbing the backs of Cas and Sam’s chairs to steady you a little. He pushed his chair out, bringing his hands behind his head, you failed to ignore the slight roll of his hips in the chair. You had an audience. You could do this. The alcohol giving you some Dutch courage.

Your hands went to your buttons, running your fingers over them before popping each on slowly then the zip. You turned around showing Sam and the others too. Dean growled low in his chest. It was quiet. You were close enough to hear it though. It did things to drunken you. It did things to sober you too, but you weren’t as quick to admit that.

You turned back around to him putting your thumbs into the sides of your jeans to push them down and leaned back letting him see some skin on your stomach too. He wet his lips. The playful smirk on his face being replaced by something primal. You pushed your jeans down twisting as you did it to show him the side view of your ass. When you bent down to the floor you stood up, using your feet to step out of the tight ankles rather ungracefully but you didn’t keel over.

“And that’s how you do it.” you said lifting your hands up and bringing them down loose. They hit your thighs in a smack. You could just make out the noise Dean made as his breath hitched. You got him at his own game. Charlie and Cas clapped. Sam cheered. Dean was silent. You called that a win.

“Night guys.” Sam stood up, almost too quickly stumbling a bit. Cas caught him. Charlie gathered up the clothes. They all went down into the hallway. Now alone, you sat on the table beside Dean not in the mood to leave just yet. Seemed he wasn’t in the mood either. 

“One more?” he asked waving the whiskey bottle in his hand. You nodded taking Sam’s glass and handing it to him. He poured two more singles of whiskey.

“Good game.” He clinked. You laughed.

“For you maybe,” He shrugged not debating that. “I’m useless at poker.” you took a sip.

“Yeah, you are.”

“Hey!” you punched his arm.

“I mean, I’m not complaining. You losing was the best part.” He smiled. You rolled your eyes trying not to let that subtle compliment go to your head, trying not to let it mean anything other than a drunk Dean. You played it off. The side eyes and drunken flirting was nice and all, but you weren’t some beta or omega bending to Dean’s charm. Nope, not you.

“So, this the smooth-talking Dean Winchester I’ve heard about. Sam told me all about when you two were on the road, chatting up somebody with a nice ass and a pretty smile every second night.”

Dean leaned back in his chair to get a better look at you. Eyes dancing over your body.

“And if I was?” he shrugged. Fuck it he was smooth when he wanted to be. Today had been a good day, great even, you got to kill Saviours and save someone, getting laid would be the cherry on top of the sundae. Dean looked like he would know what to do with you, you had a fair idea of what you’d want to do to him. This was too good to pass up now. You were alone. You were drunk. You were adults. Consenting adults.

“If you were what?” you dared to ask.

Dean stood up from his chair. You widened your legs for him, letting him slot between them. You didn’t stop him. You didn’t want to stop him. He brushed the back of his knuckle up your bare thigh. That warmth daring to come out between you, that call starting to scream a little louder.

“Chatting up somebody with a nice ass and a pretty smile right now?” his other hand gripped the side of your neck pulling you into him slowly like he was waiting for you to pull away from him or tell him to stop. You had no intentions of doing that now. You wanted him on the war table.

You put a hand on his bare skin, let that heat wash over you like a hot summer’s day when the sun was blazing down on earth. The quiet warmth didn’t happen anymore, it skipped straight to the part where it was hard for your brain to stay in control of your body. He bore his eyes into yours so full of lust and desire it was hard to break it.

“Dean.” you whispered and pressed into his waist wanting it, wanting him already to just _take_. Your body just taking over. The heat consuming you. His stubble grazed her jawline as he inhaled your scent. Your body wanted to know what his stubble felt like on other parts of it.

“God, do you have any idea what you do to me Y/N?” he rasped out. Impatience getting the better of you, you turned your head, your lips brushed against his so faintly when…

“Oh crap.” A voice said from behind Dean. It was Charlie. Her presence snapped your back to reality. Dean took a step back from you scratching the back of his head. You crossed your legs quickly, pretending nothing was happening between you two.

“Sorry, I just eh, Cas needs his pants,” She grabbed Cas’s pants that were beside you and Dean. Your eyes stared at the floor waiting to be swallowed up by it. “Pretend I wasn’t here.” She waved her hands around like a magician would to disappear.

When she left, you hopped down off the table and put your trousers back on, trying to shake whatever just happened off of you. You grabbed your clothes. You were drunk, really drunk.

“I think we should…” you nodded towards the hallway.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He grabbed his stuff too.

You walked down the hallway beside him, shoulders brushing. Your room was first.

“Goodnight Dean.” you opened the room to your bedroom and went inside before he had a chance to say anything or do anything.

Sliding down the door burying your head in your clothes trying to figure out what the hell just happened back there. It was like your brain was highjacked, nothing else mattered except him and what he was going to do to you. You didn’t operate like that, not usually, not so quick to let your inhibitions down and your body to take over.

A familiar scent was in the bunch of clothes you were holding. You picked out a grey and black shirt. You had taken Dean’s shirt he was wearing by accident. He must have yours. It felt like comfort, like what the other shirt gave you when you first arrived here, before you got blood on it and it had to be washed. It was probably one of his shirts anyway now that you think of it. Sam wore brighter colours flannel than Dean did.

You took off your top and slipped his shirt on bringing it up to smell it. It felt like you were safe. It felt like home. You curled up in your bed alone wishing his arms were around you, wishing he was here protecting you.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things become a whole lot less alpha for you.

* * *

_You dreamt of those hands, calloused and rough running up and down your body. They gripped your ass, moved down to dip into the bend of your knee to wrap your leg around his waist. His stubble grazed your chest hard letting it burn as his hot mouth searched your body for spots that would make you moan. You ran your hands through his short hair tugging it when he kissed under your armpit. He was dragging this out, but you wanted him now. You pushed against his erection. _

_“So impatient.” He said dotting kisses over your breasts. _

_“I’ve waited long enough,” you breathed. “Don’t make me alpha you into it.”_

_“Oh, but I kinda wanna see you try.” He smiled above you_.

The dream faded. You woke up drenched in sweat and drenched in want. Your body was on fire. Your heart pounded in your ears. When you moved your legs you felt your panties soaked with slick.

“No, no.” you moaned into the pillow. This was not happening. This could not be happening. You needed to relieve this feeling. The burning ache between your legs wanting release. You dipped your hand into your panties rubbing out an orgasm as quick as when you first discovered you could do this. You arched into it, raising your chest off of the bed bringing yourself over the edge quick, holding back your cries with your free fist in your mouth.

“Y/N, are you ok in there?” Claire on the other side of your door. “It’s like 11am.” She was looking to go to the armory to practice.

“Don’t come in!” you called out, too tired to get out of your bed, hoping she would listen to your voice.

“Claire, get away from the door.” It was Jody.

“It smells like...” Claire didn’t finish the sentence. You knew what it smelled like. It smelled like you were in _heat_, probably because you _were_. Great. Fucking _great_. You hid in the pillow wanting the end of the world to just hurry up and end already.

“Y/N, it’s me. Can I come in?” Jody asked. Mom concerned voice on full.

“No.” you said mumbling into your pillow pathetically.

Your alpha voice was not working because how could an alpha give orders when they were in heat. More importantly, how could an alpha be in heat? People who were in heat were weak and pathetic and in need of someone to take care of them. An alpha to take care of them. The alpha that kick started it.

“Do you want…” she started to ask knowing how that sentence was going to end. _Dean._

“Fuck no!” you shouted. “Keep him away from me.”

“Okay, okay, just please let me come in.” she pleaded.

“Fine.” you surrendered. The door opened and Jody slipped in closing it quickly behind. The last thing you needed was the smell of you to run wild through the bunker. Especially Dean. You could strangle him if you didn’t want to rub yourself all over him. Ugh.

She knelt down beside your head. She had things with her, probably smelled it off of you before you woke up. Great.

“You’re prepared.” you mumbled leaning over the bed to see what she brought. Ice, a bucket filled with water, a cloth, a heat toy. _A heat toy._

“Oh, fuck do I have to?” you asked eyeing up the black knotted dildo like it was threatening your existence. It kind of was. You weren’t expecting to go into heat. Like ever. Jody sighed.

“You don’t have to, but it helps,” She said. “Trust me.”

“How can I be in heat? I’m an alpha!” you cried. You actually cried. Tears were happening. Jody debated putting her hand on your shoulder, but she dropped it realising you wouldn’t want her to touch you right now.

“Honestly, we don’t know. Sam and Charlie are looking into it.”

“I feel on fire,” you moaned. “Like my skin is burning from the inside out.” you tossed in your bed. The sheets sticking to your legs.

“Oh, I remember that feeling alright,” Jody dipped the cloth into the water and rung it out. “Can I?” she asked looking at your forehead. You nodded. The cold was nice it made you whine, how sad.

“It’ll be like that for a while, especially if you don’t want...” She didn’t say his name.

“I don’t.” you said sternly. You both fell into silence then. She dapped your forehead. The tiredness came over you.

“I’ll be back later, to check up on you. Try and get some sleep.” Her voice was soft and distant as you drifted off till the next heat spike came.

* * *

_You dreamt you were in the kitchen of the bunker, stirring sugar into your coffee when he came up behind you, hands wrapping around your stomach. Something turned inside of you. You looked down at your bump. “That decaf?” he asked. You turned around in his arms holding the warm cup._

_“If I said yes would you believe me?” you replied. He took the cup off of you. “C’mon I’m tired!” you moaned. He laughed handing you back the cup. “Alright, but just one cup.” He pointed at you. You swatted his finger away. The thing inside your stomach turned again. _

When you woke up, you felt empty, like there was something missing your dream had taken away from you. You cried and cried, aching for that emptiness to be filled. In the same breath your heat spiked sending your body into overdrive, like it was telling you _we know how to sort this empty feeling out_. You couldn’t give it what it wanted so you grabbed the stupid heat toy sliding it inside of you with ease. You gasped loudly as the knotted end slipped in filling you. Your body knew it wasn’t the real thing, but it helped, pushing against it cumming again. The heat subsided.

Your stomach rumbled. It needed substance. A groan came out as you took out the heat toy, your body wasn’t happy with you.

“Yeah well I don’t like you either right now,” you said to it. There was a knock on the door. You shoved the toy under your pillow quick. “Jody?”

“It’s me sweetie.” She said. “Can I…”

“I need food.” you called out. She opened the door with a bowl of something warm in her hands and a glass of water.

“Got you covered right here.” She smiled. You sat up in the bed, swinging your legs around to touch the cold floor. She handed you the tinned soup. She smelled like him.

“How is he?” you asked. She sighed leaning back against your desk as you ate the soup. 

“As can be expected.” She replied vaguely. You looked at her. “He won’t let Bobby within ten feet of your door.” She added with a short chuckle. You smiled at that, imaging him growling at Bobby. Your body also liked his protectiveness, there was no point trying to protest against it now. You were in heat and you just had to ride it out. Excuse the pun. You ate your soup in silence.

Jody went to grab fresh sheets for you seeing as you ruined the ones you currently had. You moved to the desk while she changed your sheets. Your body couldn’t do much in its current state. This would be Dean’s job, if you let him which you weren’t going to. Alphas looked after their betas or omegas during heat, keeping them happy, satisfied, fed. Their scent helped those in heat too.

You peeled off the shirt you were wearing too not caring that Jody was seeing you naked. 

“Can you do me a favour?” you asked gripping Dean’s shirt in your hands. She came to kneel down in front of you giving you her best Mom face. You handed her the shirt.

“A fresh one?”

“The one he’s wearing,” you couldn’t even look at her saying it, feeling so weak, so not an alpha. She nodded not saying another word. You crawled back into the bed with the fresh sheets. Jody came back with a maroon shirt in her hands and draped it over you like a blanket. It was still warm from him wearing it. You drifted off again.

* * *

The heat went like that for three days straight. It was a spike, an orgasm, a decline, a sleep and repeat. Jody came in to check up on you, but it got to the point half way through it you couldn’t even speak to her. You were fighting off every urge in your body to find him and make him knot you. Not that he probably needed any convincing. He had triggered it in you which meant he wanted it too.

You were never playing strip poker again.

On the fourth morning you woke up feeling better or at least feeling more like myself. Jody had already been in with a fresh glass of water and clean clothes on the desk. You washed yourself with the cloth, soap and bucket she had also left. It helped with the heat if you weren’t covered in your own slick apparently. Jody had given you a bath on the second day. You two were on a whole new level of friendship now, or else she was your new Mom.

You were grateful for her.

You dressed yourself in some sweats and one of Dean’s shirts. Your feet liked the cold ground. You went into the kitchen in search of coffee that you had kept dreaming out for some reason. The place was quiet. They must be out on a run or a mission. You went into the kitchen and saw him sitting there, hands around a cup of coffee, head slung low between his shoulders. His head shot up when he heard you come in.

“Y/N.” Dean's husked voice sounded wrecked.

“Hi,” you pulled on the sleeve of his shirt. His green eyes were soft meeting yours, which probably looked sunken into your skull. “You mind making you one of those?” you pointed to his cup.

“Eh yeah, sure thing.” He got out from the table to make you a cup. You sat down, fiddling with his sleeve like some self-soothing trick when you were a kid. He slid it over to you sitting back down opposite you. You took a sip, it had sugar in it. You smiled taking another.

“Where are the others?” you asked.

“Supply run.”

“You didn’t go?”

“I couldn’t.” he said. _Because of you. _You nodded. He scratched the back of his neck unsure what to do, what to say. You were in the same boat really. There wasn’t much either of you could do about it. It happened, it was over, you had to move on.

“Did you have as much as fun as I did?” you tried to make light of the situation.

He smirked into his coffee cup. “It was a hoot.” You laughed quietly.

“Day two was especially…”

“Awesome.”

“That is one way to put it.” you smiled. He chuckled. You two were going to be ok.

It was weird being around him now the heat was over. You had spent the last three days wanting nothing else but him. You wanted his hands on you, his knot inside of you, his baby with beautiful green eyes staring up at you. That dream was particularly painful to let go of. That was day two. Day two you wanted him to bite you and make it count, make it last forever. The intensity of it had subsided now.

You didn’t know much about heats because you didn’t have to as far as you were concerned. It was a beta thing, it was an omega thing though they were quick to die, almost completely extinct. You never knew an alpha could even trigger it in another alpha. It didn’t make sense. You weren’t taught it in biology class in school. You were taught an alpha and a beta or an omega, not an alpha and alpha. Why would an alpha want to mate with another alpha? Sure sex, hook ups, whatever sometimes the fight and dominance was electric but a baby? A family? That’s what heats were for. To make babies. Alphas didn't have that maternal instinct and yet there you were longing for a baby to hold, a baby you gave birth to. A thought you never had prior to the heat.

If you were honest it was something so distant to you even when it was an option. You didn’t picture yourself as the settling down family type. You had yourself down as the cool aunt to your sisters’ kids. Sure, there were relationships, but nothing lasted. Nothing made you think that they were the one. You never looked at someone the way your parents looked at each other, that forever look.

It looked like Dean was going to speak when the main bunker door opened up. They were back. You both got up and walked into the war room together. They came down the stairs, even Claire who had an extra perk in her step, probably because she was allowed to go with them. Your guess was she wasn’t allowed to stay with Dean. They looked tired, but safe and alive. Sam was the first to spot Dean and you standing together at the top of the stairs joining the library and the war room.

“Dean, you didn’t. I told you not to…” he started to say already pent up.

“He didn’t.” you said interjecting. Dean made a fist, a spike of anger that his brother thought Dean would have actually done that while they left. That Dean couldn’t have been trusted to be left alone for a few hours without knotting you. You wrapped your hand around his forearm to calm him down. His fist relaxed.

“You feeling alright sweetie?” Jody asked coming around the table to give you the once over. You nodded.

“I feel fine.” you told her.

“You smell fine, so must be over, right?” Charlie piped up.

“It’s over, can we move on from the concerning looks about my heat please. It’s embarrassing enough as it is.” you hated the looks, the worries. You felt so tiny, so pathetic. You hated the way they looked at you, that you needed to be looked after.

“Heats are normal, they’re part of…” Cas began to say.

“They are not part of an alpha’s life,” you snapped. “You don’t get it, you’re not alphas and you’re an angel for crying out loud. Alphas do not go into heat.” Now you were the one getting angry. 

“She’s right guys,” Bobby said. “An alpha can’t be seen to be weak, no way, no how.”

“But you were weak when we first met you?” Claire pointed out. You sighed letting your hand go from Dean’s arm and dug the heels of your palms into your eyes.

“Because I sacrificed myself to protect a beta under my protection.”

“Alright, alright, enough. It happened. It’s over. Let’s move on.” Dean said over everyone.

“But Dean…” His brother looked at him concerned.

“Dammit Sam she doesn’t want to talk about it.” Dean shouted. They listened to him. Of course, they did. He was a man and an alpha and he was the one who put you into heat in the first place. Of course, they dropped it.

* * *

The rest of the day made you think you were back to normal. You went to the armory with Claire, marked out targets for her to hit with the knives. You timed her. She challenged you to a race. She almost had you bet at one point. That hurt your ego.

“Yeah, well I’m just out of heat so…” you tried to explain. Claire just rolled her eyes at you. She went to pick up the knives from the target as you sat down. You were bet. The heat took it out of you. You were itching for contact too, a low simmer underneath your skin still wanted him. You ignored it when Claire said best out of three.

The normalcy started to slip away towards the evening. It was when you walked into the library seeing Dean and Charlie hovering over a book close together that you growled. Dean shot his head up quick taking a step away from Charlie with his hands in the air like he had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Embarrassed would be an understatement. You hated not being in control of your body. You turned on your heels and left before anyone had a change to acknowledge it.

You showered before you went to bed, scrubbed everywhere at least twice. You had hoped that would work. It didn’t. You reached for his shirt to put on and his scent was gone from it, your workout with Claire overpowered it. The chances of sleeping without it were slim and you were still shattered from your heat. Dean’s room was down the hall, you sucked it up for the sake of a night’s sleep and went in search of a shirt.

He wasn’t there, which helped. You could get in and out without him even knowing you were doing this. The heat made you not care that Jody had been telling Dean you needed his shirt, his scent around you but now it was supposed to be over. Your brain was somewhat back working with you in charge and yet there you were, rummaging in his drawers for a shirt that wasn’t fresh.

The door opened and you were caught red handed with your hand in his drawer. You closed it quick, leaning against it pretending it wasn’t what it looked like even if it was exactly what it looked like. The grin slowly made its way onto Dean's face.

“You could have just asked,” he put his beer down on the desk, started to strip his flanneled shirt off of his shoulders.

“I don’t like that I have to ask, I don’t like that I need it.” You admitted. Dean put his shirt on the bed for you to take. The double bed between you as a barrier. His room smelled like him, that comfort and safety making your body happy and content. What a sap. You sat on the edge of his bed grabbing his shirt to bring it up to your face. God, he smelled good.

“Why did I have to go into heat and not you?” you groaned, tears starting to well in your eyes as you hid from him. The weight of the bed dipped. He was hesitant at first, then put his hand on your thigh giving into instinct. You were sad, it was rolling off of you in waves.

“Jesus Y/N, I need…can I,” he stuttered. You peaked out from his shirt. He ran a hand over his face. You hadn’t been this close to before, excluding the poker night where you were drunk. Now sober, post heat, or at least post intense heat, you saw him. The tough alpha exterior peeled back. His green eyes longing for something, for you. That forever look staring at you.

“What?”

“Just let me take care of you, please, it’s literally killing me.” He squeezed your thigh, like a small plea.

You hadn’t really thought about him in this. Too engrossed in your own shame to see it from his side when it’s so easy for you to do that. You were an alpha after all. The need to protect was strong. If you had sent someone into heat and you weren’t allowed touch them, it would have driven you crazy. Torn in half by your brain and your biology. The dire need to make them feel better and you couldn’t because they had locked themselves in their room for three days straight in fear of being mated.

So, you peeled back your alpha exterior too. It was just the two of you in his room, no one had to see you give into your body. You could do this, hell, you needed to do this. He wasn’t going to do anything without you telling him, so you nodded, just the once. It was all Dean needed for him to take over.

“C’mere.” He hit his lap. The low alpha bite crept out of him. Your body reacted getting up, you straddled him, legs wrapped around him resting on the bed. _Finally. _Your body sang as his hands started running up your back under your top. Those calloused hands from years of missions soothing you.

You stopped fighting it, your nose brushing against his jaw, making a bee line for his throat to inhale him and make the itch go away, to make you feel better. He pushed you in closer to him till your chests touched and you could bury your head in the crook of his neck. You needed his scent and he knew that. He needed to look after you and you knew that.

Eventually the tiredness crept back up to you. You yawned into his shoulder. Your hands enjoyed the feeling of his hair through your fingers, not wanting to let go of it. He never stopped soothing you. The muscles in your back relaxed under his touch as he pressed hard in knots and drew patterns gently. You felt like jelly in his arms by the end. The thought of going back to your cold bed seemed so unappealing.

“Dean,” You whispered. His hands stilled on your waist.

“Mhm?”

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

He leaned back enough to see your face. He was calm now, almost happy if you could put a name on that face. The smallest of smiles present. The jaw relaxed. Your scents mingled together like a perfect cocktail of contentness. If that was even a word.

“You ask that like you had a choice sweetheart.” He joked. You were too tired to fight back.

He lay you down on his bed. He slipped off his boots and jeans and climbed in beside you. In the short space he was away you relished in his bed sheets. Your body never felt this way since the end of the world, and you weren’t sure it even felt this way before then. You drifted off consumed by Dean and not giving a shit about it.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good things don't last in the end of the world.

* * *

You were babysitting Claire while the others headed out for a recon. The details were minimum, the traveler not wanting to say too much over the radio, but they trusted this traveler. Apparently, they had done some work with them before. You were fine hanging back. Your heat finally gone and the need to be around Dean was gone, now you were just left with the want to be around him which you could manage.

The good mood you were in you let Claire try your handgun as long as she swore not to rat you out to Jody though something about scenting with Dean made you third in command after Sam. You got away with more and you were less concerned with over stepping in the bunker. Over a month now it had been since you arrived in Dean’s arms. A lot had happened since then, mainly good things which was rare for you.

They debriefed you about the recon on their return in the war room. The traveler had good intel. It seemed like a vampire army was forming. That was just what you needed, vampires forming armies. The end of the world didn’t have enough bad shit to contend with already.

“It looks like the resistance is gathering in some big camp up in North, some major called Donna is getting the word out.” Charlie said. You lived in some big camp up North with a Major called Donna.

“Weren’t you in some camp up there, Y/N?” Sam asked remembering you bringing it up.

“Yeah, it’s one of the biggest camps up there.” you replied.

“Donna something or other ring a bell?” Bobby looked at you.

“Yeah, she’s my leader, or was…” you drifted off. It had been over a month since you’d seen her. She probably thought you were a vampire, or dead. It wasn’t like you had tried to go back there once you healed.

“Well like we said she’s the one spreading the word around, trying to rally as many resistances as she can.”

“She wouldn’t be asking unless she needed us.” you corrected the last word. “Needed you guys.”

“What do you think Dean?” Sam asked his brother.

Dean slammed his hand down on the table clearly pumped about this idea already. You were more reluctant about it. Reality slowly crept its way back into your mind.

“I think we’re going up North.”

* * *

It was almost a two-day trip. You loaded the two cars with as much as you could, supplies, ammo, guns and whatever else you thought would be useful. You rode in the Impala with the two guys and Charlie. The other two rode behind in the pick-up. Cas and Claire stayed behind for obvious reasons. Claire is not ready for a mission like this and Cas was an angel and wouldn’t even get past the warding the camp had.

Dean took the back roads to go undetected and avoided big towns as much as he could. Sam and Dean took shifts driving and sleeping so you didn’t stop only if you had to go to the bathroom. It was a quiet journey. You didn’t need any unwanted attention from monsters or anything else for that matter.

The closer you got to the camp, the more fidgety you got. You didn’t really have a good enough reason for not trying to come back other than you felt more at home in the bunker than you ever did at the camp. The end of the world, being with the resistance wasn’t about being at home. It was about being at war. Somehow the bunker managed to bring the two together. You had a life and a purpose in there.

“Right Y/N, you’ll need to direct me from here.” Dean said in the front. You saw a sign welcoming you to the town, or at least, half of it said that. The other half was missing.

“You’ll wanna head to the national park,” you told him. “Follow the signs.” He turned right seeing a sign for the national park.

The exorcism chant started to get louder. They played it on a loop exorcising anything within a half a mile radius of the camp. “Smart.” Charlie noted.

“There's be a check point coming up.” you saw two resistance soldiers standing alert to the car encroaching on the dirt track. Their guns hanging off their person. One of them put their hand out to stop Dean from driving any further.

“Names.” The soldier ordered. Dean rolled his eyes. “Winchesters, Sam and Dean. Charlie and…”

“Lieutenant Y/L/N?” the soldier peered into the back of the car. “You’re alive.”

“I am,” you replied. “Look they’re with me, and the pick-up truck behind us. Major called us in.”

“Of course, Lieutenant, go right ahead.” He stepped out of the way of the Impala. Dean drove on.

“Lieutenant?” Sam questioned.

“Can we not.” you insisted. You didn’t need the interrogation, not from them. You were sure enough you were about to get one once you arrived. That soldier definitely radioed to the base camp to let the others know you were with them.

Dean parked the car up in a free space. The camp was surrounded by barbed wire fencing with tents and cabins scattered throughout. There was warding painted into the trees for both demons and angels. It was vast and the head base for most of the North.

“How many people you got in this place?” Sam got out of the car trying to take in his surroundings.

“Couple hundred, give or take,” you closed the back door behind you. “Changes all the time.” you pulled your thigh holster. Dean was close beside you sensing something was up.

“Hey, you alright?” he asked. His hand hovering to reach for you. This was what you did now, the small touches. The soothing. You weren’t in the safety of the bunker anymore and you hadn’t really spoken about touching in public, well, in the camp where you were a Lieutenant.

“I’m fine,” you lied. He gave you an unconvinced face. “I need to get this over with, then I’ll be fine.” He believed that.

You walked through the camp. It had grown since you were here last, either permanent or outsiders like you, like them, like the bunker resistance. You needed to get that straight in your head. It was weird being back. You felt out of place. You had lived here for years and it felt like a strange place to you now.

Dean stayed close beside you, eyes scattering all around trying to process it. You saw a few soldiers hit each other and point to you as you walked by with whispers. A few saluted you too. You picked up the pace needing to get to the main tent sooner. Donna was outside waiting for you.

You took a deep breath before standing before her. You were expecting to be launched into a full-on verbal assault or a straight up slap across the face but what you got was a hug. She wrapped her arms around you and held you tight. You stumbled a bit under the uneven ground but hugged her back with just as much as she was giving you.

She took you under her wing when you lost the last piece of your family. She helped you burn your sister, give her a proper send off. She trained you day and night to make you the best soldier you could be. She gave you a squeeze and released you, returning to her role as leader of the camp.

“Lieutenant.” She said straightening herself out.

“Major.” you replied blinking back the tears in your eyes. Dean put his hand on your lower back. She looked between you two curious but didn’t press it. The two-day trip left you smelling more or less like an amalgamation of the bunker resistance people, not just solely Dean. You weren’t in the right frame of mind to disclose what was happening between you and Dean, not that you could really articulate it anyway. It was still a mystery as far as you were concerned.

“Shall we?” she walked back inside the main tent. You gestured for the others to follow you.

Once you went through the introductions, you sat around a table. It wasn’t the war room table, or the library table. It was nothing in comparison. You had forgotten how grim and front line this place was. You knew you had been living it up in the bunker, but you didn’t realise exactly how much.

Donna sat at the top. There was a newly appointed captain sitting on her right now. You didn’t want to ask about the last one. Captains came and went. This must have been third one since you joined this camp.

“You’ve got one hell of an operation here I’ll give you that.” Dean noted.

“We got a lot of people to look after.” Donna’s smile still unwavering.

“So, tell us about this mission you called us in for.”

“We’ll brief you all once the others have arrived.” The captain said. You felt Dean tense beside you. The young alpha was getting on his nerve already. Who could blame him? He looked like a baby.

“What do you suppose we do till then?” Sam asked.

“Settle in and eat,” she suggested. “Y/N can show you around, ya’ll are staying in the east wing.”

Donna and the captain excused themselves, having a camp to run, end of the world to stop.

* * *

Dean refused to let the car out of his sight, so you showed him how to drive around the back of the tents to get to the east wing. It was where guests and travelers stayed. It was one of the nicer areas mainly due to it not being in constant use. Donna refused to let guests stay in tents and let them have the cabins. This area of the forest had once been a camping ground, so the plumbing systems still worked which was something.

You showed the guys their cabin and said you’d get some wood for the fire to start it going. You were halfway out of east wing when you recognised a voice shouting out your name. Eileen came running towards you, arms opened, smile beaming.

“Y/N!” she shouted.

“Eileen!” you called out and collided hard in an embrace.

“I thought you were…” she didn’t say dead. You squeezed her hard not wanting to let go just yet. A face you liked seeing around here. You stepped back from each other.

“I mean it was close.” you signed as you spoke to her. She could read lips perfectly, but you still liked to sign around her. She had a black band around her arm. For when you’re mourning the loss of a fallen one you were close to. Eileen saw you looking at it.

“Guess I won’t be needing this anymore.” She tore it off.

“Aww, you wore that for me. I’m touched.” you joked. She shoved you.

“Shut up. I only wore it, so people thought I cared about you.”

“Oh, I bet you cried, cried hard,” you laughed. Her cheeks turned red. “Knew it.” you poked her. You wanted to catch up, but she was needed elsewhere.

“I got to go, new captain, such a moron. You’ll be around later?”

“I’ll be here.” you said pointing to the east wing.

“Alright, well don’t die by the time I get back!” she ran off back towards the other soldier.

You were glad she was still alive. It was hard to tell who was and who wasn’t. The camp was big, there could be multiple missions happening at any one time. It wasn’t uncommon for deaths to happen every month. The camp lost soldiers and gained more. The flow was constant. You walked through the camp to grab some fire wood.

You could go see the memorial wall if you wanted to, but you didn’t need the emotional turmoil, not when there was something big coming soon. You needed to stay alert, focused, sadness brought you down even if you did have Dean doing, well doing whatever he was doing. The sentence ‘being your alpha’ didn’t feel right because you were your own alpha. It was two-way alphaing if anything. Again, a new word to add to the dictionary.

The bunker crew were sitting on the stairs to the cabin when you came back. Beers in their hands they brought from home.

“Someone will fight you for those.” you said dropping the wood logs by the front door.

“Yeah well I’d like to see them try.” Dean replied handing you a beer.

“I don’t know Dean. These soldiers did not come to play.” Jody leaned against the fence surrounding the cabin. She eyed up the soldiers as they walked around patrolling on the other side of the perimeter you were near. You sat down beside Dean and sipped your beer.

“I could take em.” He shrugged.

“You’d try,” Sam clarified. You all laughed. “What’s it like being back then Y/N?” you shrugged not really wanting to talk about it. Charlie piped up a question you _really _didn’t want to answer.

“You think you’ll stay once the mission is over?” you didn’t want to stay. Then again should you be thinking about what you want. It’s what needs to be done is important. Your shoulders shrugged again as you tore at the label on the bottle. You could feel Dean’s eyes on you, like he was looking for an answer from you. You needed a distraction.

“I’ll get the fire going for dinner.” you got up and walked over to the pit. It was hard to breathe in this open air. You found the bunker claustrophobic the first few days because it was underground. Now you were missing its confined concrete walls.

Bobby came over with the wood you had collected. “Thought you might need these.”

“I don’t want to talk it.” you told him. Your eyes went behind him to the others. Charlie and Sam talking at Dean about something. It looked tense. Dean got up and stormed back into the cabin. Sam’s hands went up defeated and annoyed. You looked back at Bobby who had his hands out to give you the wood.

“Suits me just fine.” he replied. You two started to build a fire in silence. It was good having the extra help, also good you didn’t have to explain how to build a fire to him.

The fire started quick enough. The others came over, minus Dean and sat around it to warm up. You were all curious about the mission. The unknowing was eating away at you as you debated what it could be. A soldier had brought over dinner, eggs from the chickens and some vegetables from the patch.

“I’ll get Dean.” Sam walked back to the cabin. Hands shoved in his pocket to retrieve his brother. It was odd when they fought. They were such a pair, bonded by blood and experience. They kind of held the bunker together and when they weren’t in sync it tensed the rest of you, of them. Dammit.

“They better sort their shit out before this mission starts.” Bobby noted.

“Dean being stubborn?” you asked.

“What’s new eh?” Jody sighed. Charlie looked like she was about to speak when Jody glared at her to shut her up. You raised a brow, curious. Jody changed the subject.

“So, what we thinking? Omelets?” You agreed on omelets. When it was ready to eat Dean and Sam came out of the cabin looking less pissed off at each other. You could tell when they walked closer together, their shoulders brushing and less stiff. They were quick to fight, quick to make up.

* * *

Donna had sent for you all to come back to the main tent when the other resistance members had arrived when the sun went down. There was another small group like the bunker. There were twenty of you total sitting or standing around the strategy room.

You noticed a pregnant beta was among them. You hadn’t seen a pregnant woman in years. A flash of a heat dream came into the front of your mind. She caught you looking and smiled. You returned it, trying to keep that small ripple of envy from coming off of you. You needed to focus on the mission.

Donna and her captain stood at the top of the table. You stuck close to Dean leaning against another table with him mirroring his body language.

“I appreciate ya’ll for coming all this way.” Donna said.

“Not every day you get to kill a leader of a vampire army, am I right?” an alpha from the other group said.

“Here, here.” Dean said quietly to you nudging you with his elbow. You smiled at the floor.

“Well he isn’t alone, got about thirty vampires with him and its growing by the day.”

“So, he’s building an army?” Sam asked.

“Looks like it, he’s turning anything and everything he and his minions can get their hands on, Saviours, travelers, resistance, you name it.”

“It looks like it started a while back, when a recon mission went south…” the captain started to say. He looked over at you realising this was the recon you had been on. You stared at the ground avoiding him as he spoke. The recon mission you almost became a vamp in, the one you almost died in, like you needed reminding.

Dean put his hand on your back again, this time under your jacket, rubbing circles with his thumb trying to soothe you. It helped. You found yourself leaning into him as the captain continued to talk about the recon mission.

It looked like they had been that close to your camp on purpose. They were trying to lure people out, capture them, turn them and then they’d join them.

“We smoked that nest out though.” Dean interjected.

“Yes, which is why we didn’t notice it till it happened a second time. It was a similar set up. A small nest getting too close to our camp for comfort. They succeeded that time, taking all but one of our resistance,” Donna told us. “Then we had some travelers mention it and we started to join the dots.”

“They know we’re strong and trained, they know an alpha usually goes on every mission. That’s their main target.” The captain picked up.

Again, he looked at you, an alpha who they captured. They were keen on you joining them. You had initially thought you were the one doing the bargaining when maybe it was them playing you all along. They never wanted Janet, only you.

“They’re taking our people. It’s time to end this.” Donna announced. You all agreed. It had to end.

* * *

Everyone knew the play; knew their roles and you wouldn’t be going near the vampires till the sun was out. That left tonight to do as you wished. Eileen had found you again. You introduced her to the bunker crew. It didn’t take long for her and Sam to hit it off.

You all sat around the fire with the other resistance group swapping stories. Bobby again in his element once the whiskey hit him. The other resistance group had heard of the Winchesters, apparently big names in their line of work before the end of the world. They were asking if the stories were true, some of them were, some weren’t. The sun came down and the fire sparked up into the sky.

Sam and Eileen were rather cozy. He could sign a little which gave him extra brownie points in her books. There was something about this night, what tomorrow had in store that made people reach for comfort. You knew not everyone was going to come out of this alive. Charlie chatted up some girl from the other resistance, even Jody was enjoying a drink not too worried about being a Mom.

You sat beside Dean, not really having left his side since the briefing. You wanted to be close to him, seemed he did too, like magnets being pulled to each other and you stopped fighting it as much knowing what tomorrow was going to bring.

“Top up?” he asked nudging you with his shoulder.

“You trying to kick start my heat again Winchester?” you joked handing him your cup.

“Don’t tempt me.” He replied. You laughed. He smiled into his cup raising it to his mouth.

The fire reflected in his green eyes. He looked oddly relaxed all things considered, like it was another day at the resistance. You envied that in him. Though it might just be the alcohol you were drinking.

You couldn’t stop your brain from thinking this was it. Your last night. You were supposed to die that night he saved you, now you were going back in, destiny finally caught up to you.

It felt it was just the you two around that fire while you looked at him, trying to sear the image of him into your mind. Wishing you were back in the bunker wrapped up in his bed sheets, pretending the end of the world didn’t exist.

The last month he had saved you, given you a home, given you a life you thought you never would have again. Sure, he triggered a heat you never wanted but you’d let that slide because he had a good heart underneath the layers of stubborn alpha. The thought of it all ending was too much to bear. The thought of dying and not feeling the weight of him on you, the feeling of him inside of you was incomprehensible.

“Dean,” you said in an exhale. It caught his attention.

You darted your eyes to his mouth and back hoping he was close enough to you for the fire not to cloud what you smelled like. He raised a brow at you like a question, like was he understanding what you were trying to give out. You nodded pulling at your bottom lip with your teeth. Dean downed his drink in one. You followed suit, the burn of the whiskey going down your throat.

You walked away from the fire, away from the people you were going to war with to his car behind the cabins and tents. The noise from the fire you could still hear, they started to sing songs. The sparks of orange rose above the roof of the cabin.

Dean had his hand on your back leading you, not a word coming out till you leaned against the Impala and grabbed his khaki jacket in your hands. The same jacket you saw when you were bleeding to death. Those calloused hands your heat dreamed about coming up to your neck into the back of your hair, this time not for scenting or soothing, for something much more.

“You want this right? Fuck Y/N tell me you want this.” he breathed leaning into you cautiously. That fleck of insecurity in him that you rarely saw. That fear that he was trying to alpha you into this. He brushed his thumb over your ear, you turned your head to kiss the palm of his hand and pulled him in closer, till his leg were between yours.

“I want you Dean.” you replied reaching up to him. You closed the gap, sealing your mouths together. _About time. _It felt like your body was telling you. That spark igniting in you as you tried to shove down the thoughts that this might be the only time that you will get to do this, so you better make it count.

* * *

His kisses were hot and open making their way down your body till he hit your jeans. You stared down at him, hands running through his hair as he unbuttoned you. Your tops were quickly forgotten about the moment you got into the back seat of his Impala. You lifted up off the leather seat to help him pull your jeans and panties off in one go, chucking them into the driver seat. He rubbed his hand over his face looking at you lying underneath him.

“Damn you’re all kinds of gorgeous.” he said undoing his belt.

“Not so bad yourself.” You admitted before you helped him with his jeans shoving them far enough. Your fingers traced over his stomach. You liked watching him squirm a little, finding those spots that made him shiver. You wondered if you got away with this because you were an alpha or if he was like this with others. Was he as willing to be submissive to a beta or an omega? You knew you weren’t so quick to lie yourself down under just about anyone. You ran your finger under the waistband of his boxers. He held onto the backs of the seats steadying himself. You liked how he was fighting the urge to buck his hips.

“It’s the end of the world, don’t tease me Y/N.” he said. The wrecking in his voice told you that was enough of the games as you dipped your hand in feeling his cock in your hand, half hard already waiting for you. He cursed hiding his head in his armpit. It didn’t take long to work him up. He was right, it was the end of the world. You stopped taking your time, pushed his boxers down and grabbed his neck to bring him back down to you. You needed him inside you now.

The fight for dominance was subtle but there. Every push you gave, he gave one back. Your leg wrapped around his waist to pull him closer as he rubbed himself against you. This wasn’t going to be sweet or romantic.

“I need you,” you moaned. “Fuck me, I need you Dean.” He gripped your thigh tight.

“Thought you’d never ask sweetheart.” He pressed inside of you. _Don’t call me sweetheart _was what you wanted to say but when you felt him bottom out, filling you, all-consuming, the words faded away. Your fist stopped you from crying out, biting it hard you almost broke the skin. It was everything, everything your body wanted, everything you wanted. Your heat dreams were nothing compared to this.

And you wanted to tell him, tell him all about them, how many times you dreamt about this. How you lay there wrapped up in his shirt with your fingers inside you and how it didn’t compare to this, to the feeling of him filling you. There was a lump inside of you that wouldn’t let it come out though. This wasn’t about declarations. This was about an itch that you both needed to scratch before you died.

You held onto him as he fucked you. Your bodies sticking together from the sweat, the windows in the car fogging up. He buried his face into your neck.

“I can’t get enough of you,” He told you, he alternated between kissing your neck, letting his tongue taste your sweat there, the tiniest hint of teeth daring to come out like he was trying so hard not to bite you. “Drives me fucking crazy.” You nodded agreeing, everything he said you agreed but you were trying keep yourself from not saying something stupid like bite me, claim me, make me yours.

Your orgasm hit you hard, total outer body experience like never before. Dean followed stilling inside of you. No heat, no knot. He fell onto you, trying to get his breath back. _About time._Your body sang.

You ran your hands up and down his back as reality came back to you. You could die now. You knew what his body felt like on top of yours, naked, sweaty and satisfied. Your last wish granted. Dean stirred above you lifting his head up.

“Regretting it already?” He said. Dean rubbed circles into your thigh he was still holding around his waist. He must have smelled the sadness on you.

“I regret not doing it sooner.” you admitted. He planted kisses on your neck. You bared it for him.

“Submitting?” he asked noticing how easy it was for you to do it. You scraped your nails into his scalp hard. He leaned into it enjoying it. You thought about storing that away for later, but there wasn’t going to be one. You just had this moment.

“Never.”

“Good, hate to think you’ve gone soft on me. I’m going to need your A game for tomorrow.”

“Don’t talk about tomorrow.” you sighed. He moved his head to kiss you sweet. His lips between yours as gentle as he could be. The brief moments when he peeled back his alpha just made this even harder. What you’d give for the stubborn, insufferable alpha to pretend this was just a fuck and nothing more, you were just a nice ass and a sweet smile and nothing more. It would make it easier to let this go.

“We’ll be fine Y/N.” And he meant it. His unwavering confidence. He wore it with pride. You wished you could believe him. You really did. He kissed your forehead and you wanted more, pulling him in for one more kiss. You wanted to remember what he tasted like, how his stubble felt against your skin, how he swiped his tongue in claiming you. You needed to have these memories locked away before they vanished along with you.

You walked back to the cabin together at dawn. It was broken sleep in the back of the Impala, and you figured you needed at least a couple of hours of decent sleep before midday. The camp was quiet, everyone asleep apart from the morning patrol outside the fence. You snuck back into the cabin. Dean went into his room with Sam. You went into yours with Charlie. You hit the pillow harder than you had expected dosing off quick. You were going to need your energy for the mission.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone let's a secret slip and you have a decision to make.

* * *

Jody had woken you up back in Mom mode.

“Up and at it ladies, let’s move it.” she shouted. You groaned, wanting to hide under your pillow.

“Wake me up when it’s over.” You grumbled.

“Ditto.” Charlie said.

You turned over in your bed to see Charlie looking back at you.

“Someone came back late with a certain somebody.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you. You failed at hiding your smile, failed even more knowing chances were she could smell it off of you, Dean, the sex, all of it. Now wasn’t the time to disclosing personal details on your sex life though. You had to focus. You kicked off your sheets, stretching to face the day and got dressed.

You slipped on the red and black flannel, rolled the sleeves up so they wouldn’t get in the way of slicing off vamp’s heads. When you tried to give it back to Dean he refused, saying it looked better on you anyway. You felt oddly good about the day, about the mission. A bit of that confidence in Dean must have rubbed off of on you or the else the scenting session that happened after the fucking or even the earth-shaking orgasm he gave you. All plausible explanations.

“So, where is it? We had bets going on where he was going to do it. I have a bottle of conditioner riding on it being on your shoulder. I mean he actually told you! I was half convinced he was going to take that one to the grave.” She rambled on while making her bed.

“Told me what?” you looked over at her. Charlie’s eyes widened, like she had just let something slip.

“Look dude, it’s not my place. I’m not…” She tried her hardest to back track. You weren’t going to let her though, not a chance.

“Charlie,” you growled. “Don’t make you make you.” She knew you weren’t kidding around.

“We might have found out why Dean managed to trigger your heat with you being an alpha is all.”

She shrugged like it was nothing, like this wasn’t a vital piece of information everyone had been sitting on for days and yet no one decided to inform you, the person it was about. Dean had managed to keep everyone from telling you something that was about you, about you and him together. You crossed over the room to her.

“Tell me _everything_.”

* * *

You stormed into Sam and Dean's room after shouting his name through the cabin. If people weren’t awake then, they sure were awake now. Sam and Dean were sitting on the edges of their bed, dressed and ready for the mission. You glared at Dean, nostrils flared, rage seeping into you. The brothers stood to attention.

“I think she knows.” Sam said.

“You think?” Dean snapped at his brother.

“I’m going to...” Sam pointed to the door and snuck out around you as you weren’t moving an inch from where you were standing. Dean had some serious explaining to do. He sat back on the edge of his bed, hands running through his hair frustrated.

“Was it Charlie?” he asked.

“Oh no, you don’t get to be angry that this came out.” you started to pace. You needed to pace. Your brain was swimming with what Charlie had told you.

“It wasn’t important Y/N. It’s not important.”

“That wasn’t your decision to make!”

He stood up, anger coating him like a second skin. “New flash Y/N, it’s the end of the fricking world out there and the whole idea of true mates just didn’t seem like a big deal!” He stomped out of the room trying to leave you. You followed him outside. He wasn’t getting away with it that easily.

_True mates_, those words bouncing around your mind like some foreign word and yet your body knew exactly what it meant. It was the final piece needed making it all click into place. You and Dean were always going to find each other. It wasn’t like when you chose a mate. You two didn’t get to. It was already planned out, destined to be together Charlie told you. The only other documented sources they could find was during the Italian revolution and then again in Celtic lore. You couldn’t exactly keep up with everything she had told you, too busy trying to understand why Dean didn’t want you to know. If you were meant to do this, meant to be together, why didn’t he tell you?

“It might have been a big deal to me, you ever stop to think about that?” You barked.

He turned and pointed at you defiantly. “Don’t make it out like once this all over you’re coming back with us. We all know you’re going to stay Y/N, don’t lie to me, to us.”

“What?” you stopped yelling. You were attracting attention. The others had come out to see it unfold. Two alphas squaring up to each other. Did he think that? That you were going to stay once the mission was over. If you survived it. Were you supposed to stay? You didn’t know. You hadn’t thought that far ahead.

There was a part of you that felt you should stay, you had a duty here, an obligation, a debt to pay to Donna. That was your brain. The other part was screaming at you to go back to the bunker, to go back with Dean and sink your teeth into his neck. You were torn.

The captain came into the east wing with a couple of soldiers following him.

“Lieutenant Y/L/N.” he called out to you. You looked at Dean, wanting him to say something to say something, anything to make this decision easier for you.

“Just go.” He walked past you back up to the others who were standing there. You turned to look at them. The people you had grown to like, grown to give a shit about. Charlie mouthed a sorry at you. Sam had followed his brother back inside. Jody and Bobby looked concerned. You wondered what Claire was up to at this moment. You even missed the angel for crying out loud.

“Lieutenant.” The captain said again. You groaned.

“I’m coming.” And with that you shoved the idea of true mates into the back of your mind, like Dean said, it wasn’t like it was important. It wasn’t like he wanted it. If he did, he would have told you. He could have told you when he kissed you, or when he lay you down in the back of his Impala and fucked you. He had so many opportunities and didn’t take any of them. You didn’t even know when he found out. Was it during your heat? Was it when you crawled into his lap? When did he know?

* * *

You didn’t see them again till before the mission. Donna had you back in a lieutenant role, telling you she needed someone she could count on to make sure this ran smoothly.

“We don’t need any more people dying on us” she told you. No pressure then.

You were standing with Eileen when they walked up with the other resistance group.

“Any chance you could switch me so I can be with Sam?” she asked. You looked at her. “What? If I’m going to die, might as well be in strong arms.” You turned to see Sam smiling at her.

“You’re not dying if I have anything to do with it,” you said to her meaning it. You gripped her arm tight. The worry was like a thin film on her. “You hear me soldier?”

“Yes lieutenant,” She replied. You let go realising you had been a bit too strong there. “I’ll be by the vehicle.”

Donna came out of the main tent with the captain. Everyone turned to her. She gave a speech. She was good at them when she meant them. She meant every word of this one. Donna spoke about the resistance, a force that brought you all together to do some good in what was left of this world, a chance to take back what was yours, a hope for a future you wanted to be a part of, people from all walks of life connecting, bonding over one common goal. She hoped you would all make it back. She hoped you’d give it your all and she knew you would.

You could feel the energy around you shift. The worries replaced with adrenaline. The fear replaced with hope. The helplessness replaced with confidence. There was cheering and roaring when she finished, and you broke up into your groups.

You looked over at the bunker crew and realised you didn’t want to the last memory you had with them to be you walking away from a fight with Dean. It looked like they didn’t want it either stepping towards you.

“Lieutenant!” a soldier called to you.

“Gimme a minute.” you said. You needed to say good luck. You needed to say goodbye.

You collided with Jody first. Her hand went to your head to pat it softly. “Knock em dead sweetie.”

“You too Jody.” you smiled squeezing her once more. Sam was next. He wrapped his arms around you tight telling you he’d see you in there. Charlie bounced into your arms, full of adrenaline. Her first big mission.

“You’ll do great,” you reassured her. “You have your stars?” you asked. She nodded tapping her jacket pocket.

“Soaked in dead man’s blood.” She grinned. You scoffed. She’d be fine. Bobby gave you a pat on the back, he wasn’t very affectionate.

“See you at the other end of this kid.” you nodded squeezing his shoulder.

Last was Dean, standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets. You stepped into his space. He looked down at you, tense eyes softening a little. What you’d give to just go back 12 hours, to the weight of him on you trying to get his breath back, when you didn’t know what he felt, when you didn’t know about true mates. You needed to push that aside now, you couldn’t die being angry with him. You did what you could, what you two were good at, brushing over it.

“You ready to kill some vamps?” you asked a smile growing on your face.

“You bet your ass I am.” He smirked. He took one of his hand out of his pocket to put on your neck, pulled you into him so your foreheads touched.

“Don’t die on me.” you whispered with your hands gripped onto his jacket shaking a little. He nodded and pressed his mouth to your forehead.

“I’ll see you in there.” He replied. You stepped back your team calling out for you again.

You hopped on the back of the truck, tightened your thigh holster and slapped Eileen’s shoulder to tell her you were ready. You took a deep breath and mustered every ounce of alpha you had in you. You drove off out of the camp. No turning back now.

* * *

The resistance ambushed them from every angle in the abandoned warehouse. They were trapped inside due to the beating sun and you took advantage of that breaking down doors and smashing windows to let the light come in. The vampires were strong, You recognised some of them from the camp. You recognised Janet, the one you swapped yourself for. She ran towards you fangs snarling. Eileen sliced her neck and her head rolled.

“You good?” she asked. You wiped the blood off of your face nodding. She turned to fight off another vampire.

You had to find where they were keeping the newly turned ones, the ones you might have a chance of saving. The leader was turning them all now. Sam and Dean, that was their target, find the leader vampire and then come find you and the captain with the newly turned ones. You had to try and save them. You were their best shot at surviving. You waded through the carnage, resistance and vampires fighting. You fought off the ones that came for you though the resistance knew they needed to keep you and captain safe and came to distract the vampires when they could.

The captain kept getting pulled into the fight though and you kept grabbing him back.

“There’s too many of them!” he yelled swinging his blade around. You yanked him into the stairwell away from the fighting.

“Pull it together,” you looked down at his name stitched into his jacket. “Milligan. You need to keep it together or we are all going to die in here.” you gripped the back of his neck hard. His eyes were full of fear. He had never seen his much bloodshed before.

“It’s a lot, I know, a lot more than we thought but we have to keep moving.” you shook him hard. He nodded blinking back the water in his eyes. He was so young, too young for this.

“We’re going to find them.” He said more to himself than to you. You let go of his neck. You needed to go down to the basement. They had to be in there, you were running out of rooms to search.

You spotted Sam fighting with a vampire from the stairwell. The captain wanted to keep going, somehow finding his authority in those few moments but you needed to make sure Sam was ok. He didn’t need your help, pushing the vampire into the wall and then a swing of another blade came into the view. Dean gripped his brother’s shoulder. The pair of them had blood splattered on their faces.

“Y/N!” Sam called out.

“We’re going to the basement,” you said. “They’re probably in there, no windows.” They stepped over bodies to come out into fire escape stairwell to you and put a mark of white on the door to show others the new vampires weren’t in there. Dean wiped his blade on his jeans.

“Leader must be down there too, protecting them.”

“You think?” the captain questioned Dean. That would be stupid of them, then again, you had only found out the blood of the vampire that turned you cured you from when it happened to you.

“Only one way to find out.” He said walking down the stairs. The captain muttered something under his breath, it sounded like a prayer. God wasn’t going to save him. God had checked out years ago.

* * *

As you suspected the leader was down there with the newly turned vampires. Ten of them in a cage beaten and turning, some resistance, some travelers. Sam and Dean went after the leader who bolted when you showed up while you took out the other vampires that were protecting the cage. They gnashed their fangs at you. Vampires were seriously the worst.

One pushed you into the cage hard bringing you to the floor. You gripped onto the cage trying to get up when someone on the other side of the cage tried to bite your finger. You glanced inside quick while Milligan took care of the vampire who had thrown you. They had turned, all of them already fangs protruding from their gums. It was too late. You were too late.

“No, no, no.” you muttered looking inside. They clawed at the cage wanting to get out, wanting to taste your blood. You pushed the heels of your palms into your eyes. This wasn't right. This can’t be right. You were supposed to save them. _You were supposed to save them._

Milligan reached to help you up. Your eyes still staring at the vampires inside the cage. He shook you and you turned to look at him. Now it was his turn to shake you back from your feelings.

“Like you said Y/N. We have to keep…” and then there were hands around his head, snap. The captain’s body dropped in front of you. The vampire laughing hysterically. You took your blade in two hands and took her head off in one swoop not even taking a breath. Her body joined his. Your knees hit the ground hard reaching for the young captain. He was dead. He tried to save you and he died. You told him to go down to the basement with you and he died. You were supposed to save them.

“Alright, we got him. Let’s do this!” Dean shouted but you couldn’t shout back. You put your bloodied hands on Milligan’s chest trying to shake him though knowing it was no use. You can’t come back from a snapped neck.

“Y/N.” Sam came down beside you. You felt the pressure of his hand on your shoulder.

“It’s too late, look.” you gestured to the cage.

“What’s the hold up?” Dean came back into the space with the cage.

“They’re already turned Dean,” Sam told his brother standing up. “We’re too late.”

You stood fighting back the tears. Dean punched a wall hard cursing.

“Son of a bitch!”

“We need to finish this.” you said picking up your blade. Sam reluctantly nodded hand gripping his blade too. Dean came over to you, his hand reaching for your blade. He wanted you to leave. You stepped back shaking your head trying not to make contact with him.

“C’mon Y/N, hand it over.”

“I can’t leave, don’t make me leave.” you stuttered out. He stepped back into your space. Your hand was shaking as you stared at Milligan’s body on the floor.

“You don’t want to do this Y/N, trust me. Sam and I, we’ll take care of it.”

He reached again for your blade. You didn’t fight him this time. You gave it to him and turned away to wait outside the basement door for it to be over. You might not have seen what had happened, but you could hear the cries and shouts from inside. You couldn’t save them.

* * *

You burned those that didn’t make it. The fire rose high above the trees. Most of you survived which was something but you still felt like it wasn’t a win, not really. The look on your faces when you emerged just the three of you from the basement with Sam carrying Milligan’s lifeless body told everyone you couldn’t save them. No one asked for details. This wasn’t going to be a glory resistance story. This was just another day in the resistance, trying to do some good for the humans. All you could do was try and keep trying.

You stood beside Donna as she spoke about those who had fallen. Their names soon to be added to the memorial wall. The wall where your name probably was, instead it’ll be Milligan’s.

The crowds dispersed. Dean and the others were making their way back to the east wing, probably to pack and leave. You saw Charlie look behind in search of you. Dean shouted at her to keep up and she followed. That was it then. You were staying, just like he said you would.

You walked off on your own, needing to visit that memorial wall. There were people there, paying respects. When a death happened, it reminded people of other deaths along the way. You were all used to it, but it didn’t make it easier, just because it was common didn’t mean it hurt any less.

You spotted soldiers you knew, ones that had died in your arms, ones that had died before they even got a chance, ones that died because they couldn’t take the heat. You spotted your name, died in battle it said.

“We’re going to need to take that one off,” Donna said. You turned and saw your Major. She was pointing to your name. “Give us a minute people.” And the others in the area left quickly following orders.

“It’ll give you some space to put up the new ones.” You replied.

“We are running out of space.” She noted standing beside you. You were.

You ran your fingers over your name. You couldn’t help thinking back to that night. You thought you were done for. There was no way out for you and then he showed up, kicking down doors and wielding his blade, saving your life like it was no big deal. Little did you know what you were destined for each other. Not that it mattered now. You were needed here. It was your fault Milligan died. People tried to protect you and people ended up dying because of it.

“They’re leaving you know?”

“You need a new captain.” you said in the same space.

You didn’t need reminding they were leaving. You needed reminding there was a resistance here that needed a captain that you could fill seeing as you watched the last one die in front of you. You didn’t need hope. You didn’t need happiness. Donna gripped your shoulder.

“And I’ll find a new captain, but you won’t find another true mate.” Donna said casually. You turned to look at her. How did she know? She tapped her nose not giving away her intel. You had your money on Jody.

“He’s leaving, he doesn’t want it.” You played with your sleeve, his sleeve. You had made your decision, or at least your mind had made it. The words of true mate still vibrated through your body.

“And as far as he’s concerned, you’re staying so you don’t want it,” you couldn’t deny that. “You two are probably the most stubborn alphas I’ve come across in a long time and so help me if that stops you from getting a chance of something great in this crappy world, to be with your mate…” Donna trailed off. A wave of sadness came over her. Her hand touched her upper arm, gripping it tight.

“Do you have any idea what I’d do to get even a day with my mate?” her voice stuttering slightly. The Major letting a crack show. She had a mate. You didn’t know that. Donna kept her life before the end to herself. “Don’t let the end of the world get in the way of some happiness Y/N. That’s an order.” She straightened herself out. Recomposing the Major attitude.

The end of the world was inevitable. It wasn’t going away any time soon. There were resistance doing this for hope and those doing it for revenge. You had lost your family. They were taken away from you piece by piece till you had nothing. Revenge coated you. The hope side, it wasn’t something you were accustomed to. Donna was talking about hope. She was talking about the possibility of brightness amongst this darkness. She was telling you to go after that brightness, after that warmth.

You had been fighting it. The light creeping its way into you. The family you had lost you were seeing again in the bunker. Your little sister in Claire, your Mom in Jody, a fiery best friend in Charlie and two brothers you never had. Heck, Bobby could even be a Dad some of the time and then there was Dean. The possibility of a life you never knew you’d ever have, and it was there ready for you to grasp it. If you’d just take that leap. If you just let that brightness in. You filled your lungs, summoning every ounce of whatever you needed to do this.

You stood to attention.

“Permission to go after him.”

“You betcha.” A small smile crept its way onto her face. You turned in your heels and walked east, hoping you weren’t too late.

* * *

Maybe it was some cruel joke, maybe it was a prank they were playing, and they’d come out from behind the cabin and surprise you. You’d hug them all and Dean would make some snarky comment and kiss you before opening the back seat of the Impala for you to get in. You’d drive off back to the bunker and live happily ever after.

Or maybe they were gone, maybe they actually left because you didn’t deserve good things and maybe Dean didn’t want you after all.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be too sad! This is a two-parter so it's not the last you'll see of the resistance bunker, promise x


End file.
